HAMILTON DOG PARK STALLED BY SUBMISSION FROM A CAT NAMED DEREK
One cat. One typed letter. Six months of meetings. Ratepayers footing the bill.
Council Chaos
Rate rises, road cones, and planning decisions that baffle everyone except the consultants.
GUYS. GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS VIDEO ABOUT TAWA'S EV CHARGERS
Wellington City Council installs four fast chargers in a gravel lay-by no vehicle has ever visited. Barry Hoskins issues a full statement to his community.
OHAUITI PLAYGROUND SHUT FOR "ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE" — COUNCIL WON'T SAY WHAT THEY'RE ASPIRING TO
Slide works. Swings work. Consultant's invoice apparently doesn't.
ALEXANDRA RATEPAYER BILLED $400 FOR 'STRATEGIC VIBES' — COUNCIL SAYS IT'S 'ONGOING'
The line item sits between 'kerb realignment' and 'consultation phase 2'. Nobody at council can say what a vibe costs per hour.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS MANGAPAPA DUNNY CLOSURE "NOT A WELLNESS EVENT"
After 14 months and $2.3m in costs, the Commission finds the toilets are still shut.
DUNEDIN MEETING ON NORTH D CYCLEWAY DERAILED BY AUCKLAND PIGEON STATUE FOR 90 MINUTES
DCC hired a consultant to explain a bronze bird nobody in Otago asked for. He billed the trip down.
RICHMOND FOOTPATH UPGRADE HALTED BY ONE CAMELLIA THAT WON'T BUDGE
Christchurch City Council confirms works paused pending an arborist, a mediator, and possibly a priest.
BISHOPDALE RATEPAYERS FUND $84,000 REPORT CONCLUDING REPORTS ARE UNDERFUNDED
The report recommends a further report. Christchurch City Council says this is a positive finding.
HALSWELL WOMAN LOCKED OUT OF AUCKLAND COUNCIL PORTAL DESPITE LIVING 800KM AWAY
The portal has rejected fourteen passwords. One was the portal's own suggestion.
WELLINGTON CITY COUNCIL HIRES CONSULTANT TO CONSULT ON WHETHER IT NEEDS MORE CONSULTANTS
Bloke I know reckons the fee's got a fee. And that fee's got a mate.
MASTERTON DISTRICT COUNCIL TO DEBATE WHETHER HOT CROSS BUNS REQUIRE RESOURCE CONSENT
One councillor reckons the cross on top might be unpermitted signage.
INVERCARGILL FOOTPATH JOB DOWNS TOOLS OVER SINGLE STROPPY CAMELLIA
Six blokes, two diggers, one shrub. Guess who's winning.
DUNEDIN CITY COUNCIL SHUTS NORTH DUNEDIN PLAYGROUND FOR 'ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE' — NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN WHAT THAT IS
Sources who spoke to The Daily Yarn on condition of anonymity say the swings were 'basically fine, mate'.
MAPUA FOOTPATH UPGRADE HALTED BY ONE STROPPY CAMELLIA
Tasman District Council spent $47,000 on a plan. The plan did not survive a shrub.
CHRISTCHURCH DOG PARK STALLED BY WRITTEN SUBMISSION FROM ONE (1) CAT
Council confirms the submission was signed with a paw print and lodged before the deadline.
GUYS. I NEED TO ADDRESS THE MAYOR'S DVD SITUATION
Constable Dave Pearce sits down in front of the ring light to talk about accountability and $47.80 in library fines that quietly disappeared.
QUEENSTOWN POTHOLE REPORTED TO NAPIER APP BY MISTAKE, GETS MORE SYMPATHY THAN QLDC HAS OFFERED IN A DECADE
Ratepayer meant to email QLDC. Ended up on a Hawke's Bay portal that at least had the decency to lie kindly.
REDWOOD PLAYGROUND SHUT FOR 'ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE' — NOBODY AT COUNCIL WILL SAY WHAT THAT IS
Christchurch City Council has closed a working slide behind orange netting for reasons nobody can define in under 400 words.
CHRISTCHURCH COUNCIL INSTALLS EV CHARGERS ON SOUTHSHORE SPIT WHERE NO CAR HAS EVER PARKED
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this article. But here we are — four chargers, zero cars, one very confused seagull.
OPOTIKI RATEPAYER BILLED $340 FOR STORMWATER PIPE THAT DOES NOT, HAS NEVER, AND WILL NOT EXIST
Ōpōtiki District Council insists the invoice is correct. The pipe insists on nothing, being imaginary.