OHAUITI PLAYGROUND SHUT FOR "ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE" — COUNCIL WON'T SAY WHAT THEY'RE ASPIRING TO
Slide works. Swings work. Consultant's invoice apparently doesn't.
A playground in Ohauiti has been fenced off by Tauranga City Council for what a laminated sign is calling "aspirational maintenance", a phrase no one on site could explain when I asked.
The fence went up Monday. No scaffolding. No digger. No bloke in hi-vis eating a pie. Just one cone, leaning, and an A4 sign in a plastic sleeve that's gone soft in the sun.
Ohauiti mum Anahera Whitiora, 34, said her kids had been staring through the mesh for three days. "It's a slide. It's not the fucking Sistine Chapel. What are they aspiring to — a bigger slide? A slide with feelings?"
A council spokesperson told The Daily Yarn the works were part of a "reimagining of play outcomes" and that a consultant had been engaged to deliver a "scoping framework". Asked when kids could use the swings again, they said "Q3", without specifying the year.
A chippie who wandered past on smoko reckoned he could have it sorted by Tuesday for a slab and a bag of screws. He has not been contacted by the council, on account of not having a scoping framework.
The cone is still leaning. The kids have moved on to climbing the fence, which is, technically, new play equipment the council has provided free of charge.
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Reader Letters
Kathy59
Bloody council never listens!
Trev_Hornby
It's all a big piss-take, honestly. You can't expect anything less from them. They talk about 'reimagining play outcomes' as if turning a couple of swings and a slide into some fantastical realm is going to solve world problems. Next thing we know, they'll be charging entry to the bloody playground to fund their consulting friends. Ohauiti deserves better!
couchgremlin
Free fence for kids!
Garry (Halswell)
Remember the time when playgrounds were just playgrounds and we were happy to have a working swing? No consultants, no aspirational frameworks. Just good, honest fun. Times have surely changed, eh?
Malcolm_Beattie
Honestly, Garry, you're right. Back in the day, we kids roamed wild. The only maintenance we needed was a bit of spit and a tissue. Now it's all red tape! Can't even slide down a slide without a five-year plan.
Sandra McKenzie
Aspirational maintenance is such a crock! What's next? Aspiring to have working toilets in parks? Get real!
tired_in_riccarton
Mate, that's exactly it. We should be thankful they're aspiring to do anything at all. Look at the bright side: aspiring means they still care... right?
Ohauiti_Lass
I'm from Ohauiti and have seen this too many times. The council's all talk, little action. They're rooted if they think people are just going to stand for these empty promises.