TAHUNANUI U-11 NETBALL MUM ACCUSED OF "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" VIA ORANGE QUARTERS
Other team's parents reckon the segments were cut to intimidate. They were not wrong.
A Tahunanui Netball Club mum has been formally complained about at the Saturday under-11 finals. The charge: tactically sliced oranges at quarter time.
The oranges were cut into uniform sixths, pith removed, arranged in a chilly bin lined with a damp tea towel. They went exclusively to the Tahunanui Tigers. The Stoke side had turned up with a bag of mandarins from Pak'nSave.
"That's not a fucking orange platter, that's a statement," said Stoke parent Damo Wickham, still holding a mandarin. "My kid peeled hers with her teeth. Theirs got presentation. We were cooked before the whistle."
The mum, Felicity Beauchamp-Cordell, told The Daily Yarn she didn't see what the fuss was about. "I cut oranges. I've always cut oranges. If other parents can't be bothered removing the pith, that's a parenting issue." She added the tea towel was "from Citta" and had been "specifically laundered".
The umpire, a 14-year-old from the senior grade, said she'd been asked to rule on the oranges and declined. "Not in the rule book. Also I'm not getting involved with Felicity." A club official confirmed "citrus parity" was now on the AGM agenda.
The Tigers won 14–6. Felicity is already prepping for next Saturday. Word is she's moved to watermelon.
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Wouldn't have happened in '94. We had standards back then, not this furniture nonsense.
ropeable_dave
mate '94 was thirty years ago what are you on about
MumOf3_Riccarton
Honestly fair enough. Council inorganic is Thursday and my berm is a war zone anyway.
Margaret_F
Gerald would have sorted it with one phone call to the council.
BarryBishopdale
Bloody typical. And while we are at it, the council has been useless since 1987. Cyclists probably love this.
Margaret_F
Reminds me of Gerald. He would have had opinions about the pallet, I can tell you that.
couchgremlin
Lol
long_winded_garry
I remember when the whole street used to argue about whose turn it was to mow the berm and now we cannot even agree on a mattress without someone invoking the Resource Management Act for forty minutes straight like it is a royal commission.