TAURANGA UNDER-15 RUGBY BUS ROCKS UP TO MCLEAN PARK FOUR HOURS LATE — GPS BLAMED A FERRY
The under-15s. A Toyota Coaster. Nobody told the satnav the boat doesn't run anymore.
A Tauranga under-15 rugby side arrived at Napier South's McLean Park four hours after kickoff on Saturday, after the team bus's GPS routed them via a Cook Strait ferry timetable.
The Coaster, driven by assistant coach Dwayne Heketa, was meant to peel off at Wairoa. Instead it sat in the Picton ferry queue at 6.47am, three hundred kilometres south of where it needed to be. Fifteen teenagers ate the last of the muesli bars. One cried quietly into a scrum cap.
"Bloody satnav told me to wait for the Aratere," Heketa told The Daily Yarn from a layby outside Waipawa. "The Aratere's not even running. I rang one of the mums and she told me to get fucked. Fair enough really."
Napier South club president Maureen Tuiloma was on the touchline at 11.30am with a thermos and a grudge. "Four hours. Four bloody hours. My grandson warmed up three times. He's got a hammy now. Tell that munter of a coach the kids deserve better than a Picton detour."
A Bay of Plenty Rugby spokesperson said the trip had been planned "to a high standard" and the GPS unit was "under review". Asked if the boys would be compensated, they said the under-15s would receive "a learning" and "possibly a sausage roll".
The match was played as a 20-minute exhibition in light drizzle. Tauranga lost 38-nil. The Marewa fourths did the same trip in 1974 without a satnav and got there by lunchtime.
Know someone this is about? Send it to them.
Spotted something like this in your area?
Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.
SUBMIT A YARN →Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.
Read next
More from Sports Sideline →WAIHEKE UNDER-11S SAUSAGE SIZZLE TRIGGERS LIBRARY ALARM, EVACUATES SIX ADULTS AND A CAT
The onions were on. The librarian was not having it. The ref blew full-time from the car park.
SPREYDON UNDER-11 RUGBY MATCH STOPPED THREE TIMES IN TWENTY MINUTES — PLANE, COW, JANDAL
Ref blew the whistle for a Cessna. Then a heifer. Then a jandal. Parents lost the plot.
MAIREHAU UNDER-11 CRICKET MATCH ABANDONED AFTER LABRADOODLE REFUSES TO LEAVE PITCH FOR 40 MINUTES
The dog fielded better than half the slip cordon, according to one dad.
MOUNT VIC TOUCH MODULE ADOPTS MOSGIEL'S SARCASM SIN BIN — FIRST OFFENDER LASTED FOUR MINUTES
A public servant told the ref "oh mate, GREAT call" and was in the bin before the restart.
BISHOPDALE TOUCH GAME CALLED OFF AFTER DAD'S VAPE CLOUD SWALLOWS HALFWAY LINE
Ref couldn't see the ball. Ref couldn't see the players. Ref could smell blue raspberry from thirty metres.
ATAWHAI UNDER-11 SAUSAGE SIZZLE SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES BOOK CLUB
The onions were browning. So, briefly, was the non-fiction section.
Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Wouldn't have happened in '94. We had standards back then, not this furniture nonsense.
ropeable_dave
mate '94 was thirty years ago what are you on about
MumOf3_Riccarton
Honestly fair enough. Council inorganic is Thursday and my berm is a war zone anyway.
Margaret_F
Gerald would have sorted it with one phone call to the council.
BarryBishopdale
Bloody typical. And while we are at it, the council has been useless since 1987. Cyclists probably love this.
Margaret_F
Reminds me of Gerald. He would have had opinions about the pallet, I can tell you that.
couchgremlin
Lol
long_winded_garry
I remember when the whole street used to argue about whose turn it was to mow the berm and now we cannot even agree on a mattress without someone invoking the Resource Management Act for forty minutes straight like it is a royal commission.