GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS POST: MILSON PUMP RECEIPT NOW 2.4 METRES LONG
To my community, I am so sorry. The receipt is still printing.
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video. deep breath I'm sitting in the Corolla at the Milson BP and I need to be honest with you all about what happened this morning.
So. I put forty dollars of 91 in. Standard. I pressed yes for a receipt because Gerald — my late husband, God rest him — always said keep them. The machine started printing at 9.14am. It is still printing. It is past my knee.
And look. I want to take accountability. I could have pressed no. I see that now. I'm doing the work. But I also need to name what happened, which is that a Milson pump has produced a receipt longer than Gerald's eulogy. Gerald was a Rotarian.
A fellow customer, Bev, told The Daily Yarn the receipt had reached her tyre and she was "frankly losing the will". A BP spokesperson said the printer was "functioning within parameters" and the extra length was "loyalty info, discount terms, and a survey". The survey is on page four. I have not reached page four.
To the wee shit at the counter who told me to "just rip it" — I hear you. I am choosing peace. To my son's new girlfriend, who would have pressed no like some kind of sociopath, this is what I mean. To my community: I am sorry I didn't see the signs sooner.
The receipt is in the footwell now. Links below for my new course on accountability.
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Reader Letters
MumOf3_Manawatu
Receipts are just insane now. I once got one longer than my dog. What bothers me more is how much useless info they put on them. Who needs 5 pages of terms just for filling up petrol?
ropeable_dave
Mate, that's what you get when a machine replaces a person’s job. Take that wee shit at the counter’s advice next time!
paradePeter
I'd love to see this receipt! If it's that long, may as well use it as streamers for the next parade in town, right?
sarcasticSteve
They probably have the receipt confused with the Dead Sea Scrolls. Ridiculous.
Garry_Grumpy
Blame QR codes! Everything was better before them. Back in the day, you bought petrol and got a receipt shorter than a cricket pitch.
greenGina
It's a piss-take, honestly. Those receipts are just a waste of paper! They should think about the bloody environment.
skepticalSarah
Environmental concerns aside, the sheer absurdity of this seems too far-fetched. Are we sure she didn't accidentally hit print all?
couchgremlin
Lol.
confusedCathy
In Milson? I thought this happened up in Rotorua last year. They never learn! Same as that time the council thought it'd rain money.
localTrevor
Oh, it was definitely 2.4 metres. My mate saw it and thought it was a bloody scarf blowing in the wind!