Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Retail Ruckus

COUNTDOWN TROLLEY TURNS UP IN GLENORCHY, 45KM FROM THE NEAREST BLOODY COUNTDOWN

The trolley was last seen in Frankton. It is now in a paddock past Glenorchy, and nobody's putting their hand up.

A Woolworths trolley from the Frankton store has been found in a paddock outside Glenorchy, 45 kilometres from where it's meant to live, and the bloke who found it reckons it's been there a while.

Farmer Roddy Aitcheson, 58, spotted the trolley on Wednesday while checking a fenceline off the Glenorchy-Queenstown Road. "Thought it was a dead ewe from the ute. Got out. Was a trolley. Full of sheep shit and one jandal. Left one. No mate."

Woolworths confirmed the trolley belonged to Frankton and said trolleys "occasionally travel further than intended", which is one way of describing a 45-kilometre journey through two roundabouts and a mountain pass.

A Glenorchy local, Marnie Sutherland, said trolleys turning up out here wasn't new. "Had one in the lake last summer. Backpackers, most likely. They rent the van, they rent the kayak, they nick the trolley. Full holiday experience." She added the tourists were "a piss-take but at least they spend", unlike the trolley, which spent nothing.

The constable at the Queenstown station said no charges were being laid because "we cannot realistically prosecute a trolley". Woolworths has declined to send anyone to retrieve it, citing fuel costs.

Roddy has named the trolley Trevor and is using it to hold a bag of drench.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Reader Letters

KiwiCamperVanMan

Backpacker antics again, no doubt. Total piss-take.

roadtrip_rob

Mate, that's not what she said. It’s more about the whole sight seeing experience, eh.

Wayne87

KiwiCamperVanMan, yeah right, you and your conspiracy theories! Not everything is about the bloody tourists. Could be just a local legend in the making, like kiwis with jandals.

couchgremlin

Lol, Trevor the trolley. Classic.

Otago_Outlier

You'd think Woolies would care more about their missing trolleys! They’re clearly buggered if they won’t retrieve just one. Fuel costs my arse, just get it.

Garry (Halswell)

I remember in '68 when a runaway cart made it to Kingston. It had a mind of its own. Kids these days won't believe anything made by man could wander that far without wheels disintegrating.

WoollyConspiracyGuy

Blame tourists all you want, mate. But I reckon it's a cunning plan by the sheep. Ever seen one pushing a trolley? You'd be surprised.

SheepFarmerNZ

Wouldn't surprise me if it's some stubborn local just taking the piss. Better use for a trolley than at Countdown, I guess.

MumOf3_Queenstown

Countdown should sponsor a trolley return competition. Who can bring one back the furthest gets a free jandal!

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one in your inbox every morning at 6am.

SATIRE — Everything on this site is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.