Remuera man apologises to "his community" for six-foot scarecrow, keeps scarecrow

Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video. But a lot of you have been asking, and honestly, I owe it to my community to sit down and address the scarecrow. Yes. That scarecrow. Six foot, high-vis vest, my old Rippa rugby helmet, standing on the berm outside my place on Remuera Road since Tuesday. I built him to stop people doing U-turns across my driveway. I did not build him to be a moment.

For context, and I'm not making excuses here, I've had eleven U-turns a day since the roadworks went in up by the shops. Eleven! Ravi at the coffee cart counted with me one morning, and Ravi does not count things for just anyone. So I did what any person on a growth journey would do. I got a broom handle, a pillowcase and a bit of four-by-two, and I made a boundary. His name is Desmond. Desmond has a face. I see now that the face was a choice.

deep breath To Pippa from three doors down, who braked so hard she put a flat white through the cupholder of her Range Rover, I am so sorry. To the Uber Eats guy who, and I'm quoting his one-star review, "got yelled at by a man made of a mop", I am so sorry. To the couple in the Tesla who reversed into the hydrangeas because you thought Desmond was "a bloke with a shotgun", I hear you. That was a hedge trimmer. It was on the ground.

And look, I've been doing the work. I read the Auckland Transport email. Twice. They said Desmond is "an unconsented berm structure" and that berms are "for grass and, at a stretch, a wheelie bin". Fair. They also said the U-turns were "not technically a problem AT recognises". Less fair, but I'm growing as a person and I'm choosing not to react to that in this space. My neighbour Graham called me "a wanker with a pillowcase" over the fence, and honestly? Graham's allowed his truth. Graham also does a U-turn in my driveway every morning, but that's Graham's journey.

So where does this leave us. I'm not taking Desmond down, because that would be reactive and I'm learning not to be reactive. But I have turned him to face the hedge, and I've swapped the high-vis for a linen shirt so the energy is softer. Someone did a U-turn while I was filming this. Right there. You probably heard it. Anyway, links below for my new course on accountability.