WINTON SPARKIES SEND APPRENTICE TO AUCKLAND FOR TARTAN PAINT, LONG WEIGHT — HE'S BEEN GONE SINCE TUESDAY
Lad flew out of Invercargill on a 6am Jetstar. Has rung four Mitre 10s and a Resene in Penrose. None of them are laughing.
A first-year sparky apprentice from a Winton outfit has been stuck in Auckland since Tuesday, sent north to fetch a tin of tartan paint and a long weight.
The apprentice, 17, who shall be known here as Jayden because his mum reads this paper, was put on a flight with $400 cash and a handwritten list. The list also included a left-handed screwdriver and a bucket of steam. He has ticked off none of them. His last text read: "at a Bunnings in Manukau and the guy is being a fucking dick about it."
Foreman Shane Petersen, on site in Winton, said the lad was "coming along nicely" and the trip was "character building." Shane said the same thing happened to him in 1974. He only had to go as far as Gore. Asked if he'd reimburse the airfare, Shane laughed for a long time and hung up.
The rest of the crew, on smoko outside a Winton bakery, were less sentimental. "He's a good cunt but he's thick as a brick," said one. "Rung me yesterday asking if tartan was a brand or a colour. Told him to ask at Resene for Dulux. Still there, I reckon." Another sparky said Jayden had also been told to bring back six dozen Bluff oysters from Auckland. That's the funniest bit, really.
A staffer at the merchant in Penrose confirmed a young man matching Jayden's description had been in three times on Wednesday. He was last seen "crying a bit near the masking tape." They offered him a Lions sausage. He declined because it wasn't mince and cheese.
Jayden is believed to be sleeping in the international terminal because he doesn't know there's a domestic one. The crew expect him back Tuesday. They have not specified which one.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Classic tradie stitch-up! Bet he's buggered.
Garry (Halswell)
In my day, we didn't send apprentices to bloody Auckland! A trip to the dairy down the road was enough character building.
wayne1987
Shane seems like a bit of a knob, honestly. His laugh says it all.
sympathetic_sophie_nz
They set him up for failure. Poor guy is just getting munted.
conspiracy_kiwi
Why Auckland? Probably a cover-up for something rooted.
couchgremlin
Lol
tired_tradie
Mate, sending an apprentice on a wild goose chase like this is just a piss-take. Better ways to teach them than to hang them out to dry.
Garry (Halswell)
Wayne, you obviously don't know Shane. He has a wicked sense of humour we all love.
bait_nz
As if Auckland wasn't bad enough, now they gotta deal with more Winton jokers. Haha! What's next, sending him to find striped flightless ferrets?
central_jake
Lol, Auckland, centre of the universe, can't help with a bit of tartan paint. Classic!