MOSGIEL PERGOLA PASSES COUNCIL INSPECTION, FAILS GRAVITY BY LUNCHTIME
Consent stamped Tuesday. Structure horizontal Wednesday. Owner blames the nor'wester. Physics blames the builder.
A pergola on Gladstone Road North in Mosgiel, signed off by a Dunedin City Council inspector on Tuesday afternoon, collapsed onto a Nissan Navara at 11.40am Wednesday. This correspondent notes it was a swift failure of the built environment.
Owner Regan Botherway, 34, said the pergola had gone up over the weekend. A mate of a mate from Green Island did the job. The council inspector spent "about four minutes" on site and signed the paperwork on the bonnet of the ute that would later be crushed.
"Bloke ticked it off, said she's a good build, buggered off," Mr Botherway told The Daily Yarn, standing next to a heap of H3.2 and bent brackets. "Next morning the fucking thing's on me Navara. I've got a wedding Saturday and me roof rack's in the lawn."
The builder, contacted at a Mosgiel pie cart, declined to give a full name. He confirmed the job was "pretty much sweet" and that the posts had been "concreted in, near enough". Asked what "near enough" meant in load-bearing terms, he said: "Look, she was up when I left. Not my fault the wind's a soft cunt about it."
A Dunedin City Council spokesperson confirmed the pergola held a valid Code Compliance Certificate at the time of collapse. The spokesperson noted that CCCs pertain to consent conditions, not "the ongoing cooperation of gravity". The inspector is on annual leave. My mate at the station confirms no offence has been committed, though the Navara "has seen better Wednesdays".
Mr Botherway is now seeking a second builder, ideally one who understands post depth. The original invoice, marked "cash, ta", remains unpaid.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Council inspectors just wave shit through! Shocking.
Garry (Halswell)
Should've known the wind wouldn't cooperate!
KiwiBloke72
Mate, that's not just the wind. It’s the bloody council's fault too. How does waving a pen make them an expert?
chats_to_crates
Who needs gravity anyway? Not when you’ve got a brickie from Green Island!
couchgremlin
Fucking munted.
old_tom
Back in my day, builders actually built things to last, not just near enough. I remember my dad’s old shed surviving that 1975 storm like a champ. Cut corners today, pay the price tomorrow.
MumOf3_Selwyn
Hope he insured that Navara.
Sandra_Misfit
Pergolas don't need council approval if they're under 30 square metres. Was this one just too bloody big? Maybe they lied about the size!
DiggerDoug
@Sandra_Misfit Nah, it was the wind alright. No one can trust a nor'wester when it gets pissy.
althepal
This is why you get a builder with a name! Cash, ta? More like, buggered I am!