Ruatoria plumber pulls fourth gnome from same drain, reckons it's personal

A Ruatoria plumber has pulled a fourth ceramic gnome from the same stormwater pipe on Hikurangi Road. He now believes the blockages are, in his words, "fucking deliberate."

Steve Waititi runs a one-ute outfit out of his shed. He said the latest gnome was wedged forty centimetres in. "First one had a wheelbarrow. Second one had a pipe — ironic, that. Third one was just a head. This one's fishing. Someone's telling me something and I don't appreciate it."

The property owner, Denise Rewiri, said she'd never owned a gnome. "I've got a lemon tree and a busted trampoline. No gnomes. Someone's driving up from Tolaga Bay to shove them down my pipe." She added that her neighbour Colin "has form", but wouldn't elaborate.

Steve charged the standard callout plus a "gnome surcharge" he invented on the spot. "Not in the book. Should be." The four recovered gnomes are lined up on the dashboard of his Hilux, facing outward.

My late husband Gerald would have called this what it is. A town with too much time. My son's new girlfriend collects gnomes. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying.

Steve is booked to return Tuesday. He's expecting a fifth.