RUATORIA PLUMBER PULLS FOURTH GNOME FROM SAME DRAIN, RECKONS IT'S PERSONAL
The gnome had a fishing rod. The pipe had three litres of standing water.
A Ruatoria plumber has pulled a fourth ceramic gnome from the same stormwater pipe on Hikurangi Road. He now believes the blockages are, in his words, "fucking deliberate."
Steve Waititi runs a one-ute outfit out of his shed. He said the latest gnome was wedged forty centimetres in. "First one had a wheelbarrow. Second one had a pipe — ironic, that. Third one was just a head. This one's fishing. Someone's telling me something and I don't appreciate it."
The property owner, Denise Rewiri, said she'd never owned a gnome. "I've got a lemon tree and a busted trampoline. No gnomes. Someone's driving up from Tolaga Bay to shove them down my pipe." She added that her neighbour Colin "has form", but wouldn't elaborate.
Steve charged the standard callout plus a "gnome surcharge" he invented on the spot. "Not in the book. Should be." The four recovered gnomes are lined up on the dashboard of his Hilux, facing outward.
My late husband Gerald would have called this what it is. A town with too much time. My son's new girlfriend collects gnomes. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying.
Steve is booked to return Tuesday. He's expecting a fifth.
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Reader Letters
GnomeLover99
What a bunch of gnome-nuts!
Trev_Hornby
Bloody hilarious! Maybe Steve should start a collection. They're a valuable insight into Ruatoria culture now!
OldJimNZ
Back in '85, we sorted out shenanigans like this with a good fence and an even better watchdog. Too many folks just don’t respect property now.
hiphop_henry
@OldJimNZ Yeah, but then they'd just launch gnomes over the fence!
Shazza_Bloke
Mate, Steve's a hero. Charge that gnome surcharge! It'll deter future invaders. Everyone knows Colin’s definitely got something to do with this.
tired_in_riccarton
This is like when the council 'lost' my rubbish bin three times. I KNEW it was personal!
GisborneGal
Why would anyone waste their time shoving gnomes down a pipe? Sounds rooted if you ask me.
wayne1987
@GisborneGal Because people are munted, that's why. Smells like a prank by those Tolaga Bay mischief-makers.