GRASMERE SITE SHUT DOWN 40 MINUTES OVER PIE TEMPERATURE COMPLIANCE
H&S consultant issued a written warning about a mince and cheese. The pie has not commented.
A residential build on a Grasmere cul-de-sac ground to a halt Tuesday morning when a visiting health and safety consultant delivered a 22-minute lecture on the correct internal temperature of a bakery pie.
The consultant, down from Christchurch on a "proactive site audit", took issue with three pies on the dash of a Hilux, a fourth balanced on a mitre saw, and a fifth being eaten by a bloke named Razza. Razza was on scaffolding at the time.
"He's got the clipboard out. He's got the wee thermometer. He's jabbing me pie," Razza told The Daily Yarn. "Reckons it's under 60 degrees. I said mate, it's been under 60 since I bought it in Winton. What do you want me to do, microwave it on the fucking joists?"
Site foreman Deano Whittle said the consultant then produced a laminated diagram. "Not on scaff. Not on the saw. Not on the dash. Reckons the dash isn't food-grade. I said the dash has held pies since 1974, mate. He didn't like that."
A spokesperson for the consultancy confirmed a written notice for "uncontrolled hot food storage". Asked whether a pie had ever injured anyone, the spokesperson said the question was "not within scope".
Work resumed at 10.47am. Razza's pie, now cold, was eaten on the scaffolding in what witnesses called "deliberate eye contact" with the consultant's Corolla as it left.
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Reader Letters
tradie_trev
Bloody hell, it's just a pie!
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, pies were eaten cold or hot, didn’t matter one bit! Health and safety has gone too far this time if you ask me. A pie never hurt anyone.
razza_king
Mate, it’s rooted if they think people will comply with this nonsense. H&S more like H&S-less!
Garry (Halswell)
Mate, the real issue is why the council is sending these H&S types into Grasmere instead of fixing the bloody potholes. Whole place is munted because they’re focused on pies!
Sandra McKenzie
Why are they even using a thermometer? Everyone knows the real test is if the cheese burns your mouth or not!
tradie_trev
@Sandra McKenzie no one even knows what the proper temperature is for a pie until it scalds ya! How many consultants does it take to figure that out?
southland_sam
Razza handled it like a legend. Deliberate eye contact and all! That’s the spirit!
wayne1987
This is a piss off.
Liam_H
Lol, the dash not being food-grade is a load of bollocks. A bevvy on a hot dashboard is pure Kiwi culture!
Jenny_Catlins
Honestly, how did we get to the point where pies are being monitored like some kind of security threat? Next they’ll say pies are approved only if you buy them from a council-certified bakery.