FENDALTON WOMAN'S SOUTHLAND UMBRELLA INVERTED IN 4 SECONDS FLAT, BLAMES "CLIMATE"
The umbrella was bought in Invercargill, which locals say should have been a warning.
A Fendalton woman's umbrella, bought on holiday in Invercargill and described as "basically bulletproof down there", lasted about four seconds on Clyde Road before turning fully inside out during Wednesday's nor'wester.
Owner Philippa Crenshaw, 58, said she'd picked it up at a Bond Street shop in July. "Invercargill throws sideways rain at you like it means it," she told The Daily Yarn. "Christchurch just sort of lifts. Different kind of bugger entirely."
Crenshaw was walking from her car to the Fendalton Village cafe strip when the umbrella flipped, launched two spokes, and clipped her on the ear. She said the barista Marco had warned her ten minutes earlier that the wind was "doing that thing again".
A MetService spokesperson confirmed gusts of 74km/h across the flat western suburbs, adding that nor'westers were "behaving as expected". Crenshaw disagrees. "It's the climate! It never used to do this in the eighties. Gerald and I walked to the Groynes every Sunday, no drama."
Marco reckons Fendalton umbrellas have a life expectancy of "about one flat white, tops". He's started a tally behind the espresso machine. Wednesday's count hit six by 11am!
The umbrella is still in the bin on Clyde Road. Crenshaw is shopping for a replacement and, against all advice, is looking at another Invercargill brand.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Umbrella engineering has gone downhill!
science_sandy
It's called weather, not climate!
couchgremlin
LOL
wayne1987
Mate, you should've known better. Invercargill umbrellas are not suited for Christchurch winds. It's like using a jandal against a hurricane.
Garry (Halswell)
@wayne1987 You might be onto something there. Umbrella armour plating could be the next big thing. Line them with Kevlar and you'll be good to go!
Garry (Halswell)
Back in the day, umbrellas were built to withstand proper storms. We didn't have all these flimsy gadgets breaking with a mere gust!
tired_in_riccarton
Philippa's right, this bloody wind never used to be so wild. I'm convinced there's something major changing in our environment, and it's not in a good way!
MumOf3
Honestly, Garry, they just don't make them like they used to. But maybe try investing in a wind-resistant one, eh?
HelenFromAddington
Invercargill umbrellas? More like flying projectiles in Christchurch's wind. Take it from someone who's lost a few!