Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Community Quirks

Burnside resident channels Poirot over mysterious courgette deliveries

Three weeks, forty courgettes, one determined detective. The basket remains off-limits.

Burnside resident channels Poirot over mysterious courgette deliveries
Photo from the scene

Every house on a Burnside cul-de-sac has had at least one courgette on the doorstep every morning for three weeks, and one resident has turned her spare room into an incident room to find out why.

Margaret Pettigrew, 74, has a corkboard, a street map, red string and a notebook with a page headed "SUSPECTS". She has photographed every courgette where it landed. "Number 14 got two on Tuesday. Two. That's not random, that's a message," she said. "I've ruled out the Prendergasts. They can't grow a thing."

Plasterer Rangi Tahana at number 9 said he was less bothered than Margaret. "Found one on the ute seat Thursday. Doors were locked. Took it to smoko, cut it up, went alright with a pie actually." He has since received three more and a note reading "you're welcome".

Margaret has now written to Christchurch City Council asking whether the courgettes breach the water conservation notice, given somebody on the street is clearly growing "hundreds of the buggers" while she's been letting her tomatoes die "out of civic duty". A council spokesperson said the notice covered "usage, not produce" and that courgettes were "not a council matter unless placed on the footpath".

Asked about the wicker basket of roughly two dozen courgettes sitting beside her desk, Margaret said they were "evidence", then said they were "from Countdown", then closed the notebook.

The courgettes are still arriving. Rangi's been told to expect Tuesday's by Tuesday.

More yarns from Burnside Community Quirks

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Reader Letters

★ Trev_Hornby

Courgette mystery? Sounds like O-Week leftovers to me.

★ Margaret_F

In our day, Gerald would have planted a proper garden, not played these veggie pranks. Youth today have no sense of community responsibilities.

Sandra McKenzie

I think Margaret's taking things a bit too seriously. It's just a few courgettes, not the klaxon for a vegetable uprising!

JoannePetone

Honestly, let Margaret have her fun. It’s a harmless hobby! But funny to think someone’s growing hundreds when my roses are munted.

★ Garry (Halswell)

It's a bloody mystery indeed. But my tomatoes never grew, so if anyone’s got surplus courgettes, I'm all for it! Standards have changed since my days.

couchgremlin

Lol.

KiwiConspiracist

Mate, the courgette conspiracy is just a small veggie annoyance. Nothing like the council ignoring the potholes for years.

★ Garry (Halswell)

Wouldn't have happened in my day. Back then, we knew every tomato and courgette that hit our doorstep and dealt with it differently than resorting to letters to the council.

★ BarryBishopdale

@Sandra no one cares about a vegetable uprising. But you bet they'd care if Australians started this!

Ilam bench honours a Des Thorley nobody on the street can place

Community Quirks Ilam Read it →

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one in your inbox every morning at 6am.

Satire — everything here is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.