Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Community Quirks

ENDERLEY LIBRARY MEETING ON OVERDUE FINES DESCENDS INTO 40-MINUTE ARGUMENT ABOUT DIGNITY

A community consultation about $2.40 turned into a philosophical inquiry no-one asked for.

A community meeting at the Enderley Library branch on Tuesday, advertised as a consultation on overdue book fines, ran forty minutes past its allotted time. Attendees became embroiled in a dispute about, and I quote from my notebook, "the dignity of the borrower".

The meeting was attended by approximately eighteen residents and one library cat. A branch coordinator opened by suggesting fines might be replaced with a "koha model". A woman in the second row, later identified as Coralie Bracewell of Fairfield, said this was "bloody soft" and that she had paid her fines since 1978 without complaint.

"I returned Bridget Jones two days late in 2004 and paid the eighty cents like a grown adult," Mrs Bracewell told the room. "I did not require a hug about it."

A younger attendee, who this correspondent noted was wearing a nose ring and gardening trousers indoors, countered that fines "punished poverty" and were a "barrier to literacy". Mrs Bracewell replied that the barrier to literacy was, in her experience, "not reading the book". A third party, a retired gentleman named Roger, then attempted to read aloud from the council bylaws and was shushed by the library cat's owner.

A council spokesperson confirmed the consultation was "productive" and that feedback would be "incorporated into the ongoing review". Asked whether dignity was a formal metric, the spokesperson said they would come back to us.

Mrs Bracewell has since returned two books one day early. She told this reporter she did it "to make a point".

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Reader Letters

Trev_Hornby

Pay your fines, mate.

MumOf4_Waikato

Blimey, is this what counts as productive these days? A roomful of adults arguing about dignity over $2.40. We've truly lost the plot. I remember when these consultations would be about real issues like getting better funding, not the principle of book borrowing!

Garry (Halswell)

Honestly, dignity and books? If you borrow it, you must return it. Simple. Libraries can't survive without some discipline. Next thing you know, people will demand a koha for parking fines!

Annoyed_Anderson

@Garry Libraries aren't the only ones, though, I once got a parking fine because I'd used the wrong Geoffrey St! Lost $60 in the blink of an eye. Ridiculous penalties only serve greedy councils, not everyday folk!

Sophie_Bookworm

Those young folks have a point. Fines do disproportionately affect those struggling financially. Why put more barriers in front of literacy? It’s about time we rethought these outdated practices.

ropeable_dave

Mate, you can't just wave off who pays what. The library fines support the library itself. Without those funds, we are munted!

couchgremlin

Lol, only in Enderley!

book_mouse

That library cat probably has more dignity than most of us. Seems like it's run the show!

MACANDREW BAY DOG ATTENDS MORE COMMITTEE MEETINGS THAN HIS OWNER, MINUTES CONFIRM

Community Quirks Macandrew Bay Read it →

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one in your inbox every morning at 6am.

Satire — everything here is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.