Ilam bench honours a Des Thorley nobody on the street can place
The plaque says he sat here most days. Fifty years of neighbours say he did not.
A bench on Ilam Road, bolted in next to the bus stop, carries a plaque reading "In memory of Des Thorley, who sat here most days". It has been there since at least 2016. Nobody in Ilam knows who Des Thorley is.
The Ilam residents' newsletter tried to run a piece on him last month. It got pulled. The committee could not find one person who remembered a Des on that bench, or anyone on that bench at all. It faces a roundabout.
Ngaire Blackmore, 79, has lived four doors down since 1974 and considers herself the street's memory. "I know every dog on this road and most of the grandkids. The Thorleys, well, there weren't any. There was a Des at the dairy, but he was Dimitri really, and he's not dead, he was in the Mitre 10 on Tuesday buying a hose." She paused. "Maybe he sat there at night. I'm in bed by nine."
Christchurch City Council confirmed the bench is on its register but said the plaque "predates the current system". The file holds a photocopy of a form. Under applicant it says "see attached". Nothing is attached. The student flat opposite has adopted Des anyway. They raise a can to him on Friday nights, and once left a mince and cheese on the armrest. It was gone by morning. They have taken this as a sign.
A council spokesperson said the bench was "compliant" and the plaque was "not something we'd remove without consulting the family, assuming a family, and assuming a Des". Asked whether the council had any way of checking, the spokesperson said they would "take that away".
As of Thursday another plaque has been screwed to the slat underneath. It reads "Also Barbara". Nobody knows Barbara either.
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Reader Letters
couchgremlin
Who's Barbara?
★ Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, we didn't have random plaques popping up without anyone knowing. Standards were different. I remember when a bench was just a bench, not a mystery. These days everything is munted by confusing paperwork!
JoannePetone
Honestly, the fact that there's a bench many don't recall raises questions about security. What's next, mysterious trees with added birds?
★ BarryBishopdale
@JoannePetone They've been planting trees all over to hide the cyclists. Just the council at it again. Should've spent the money fixing potholes instead!
MumOf3_Riccarton
I bet Des Thorley is just some student prank, like those mascots taken during O-Week. Don't take it seriously, guys.
sceptical_steve
Barbara could be a figment of our imagination. The whole thing seems suspect, like a bloody prank or something set up by students to mess with us older folks.
★ Garry (Halswell)
@sceptical_steve If it’s a prank, who keeps the mince and cheese pie? You'd think students would be too hungry to leave that behind!
curious_kim
Place a notice next to that bench asking who Des was and I guarantee you'll have conspiracy theories galore about hidden histories!
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