AUCKLAND COUNCIL PORTAL REJECTS EVERY PASSWORD KNOWN TO MAN, INCLUDING ITS OWN SUGGESTION
Takapuna sparkie spent 45 minutes trying to pay a building consent. The portal told him to get rooted.
Auckland Council's online consent portal has spent the better part of a Tuesday refusing every password offered to it, including 'Council1!', which is the exact format the portal itself recommends on the sign-up page.
Takapuna sparkie Reuben Falaniko, 41, was trying to pay a $312 inspection fee before knock-off. He got as far as the password screen and stayed there. "Tried Council1!. Nope. Tried Council123!. Nope. Tried GetFucked2024!. That one it accepted briefly then locked me out for 'suspicious activity'. My own suspicious activity, on my own bloody account."
A second tradie at the same job, plumber Manaia Reweti, said he'd given up entirely and was going to post a cheque. "Mate, I haven't written a cheque since the Clark government. Council reckons that's fine. Takes six weeks to clear. Job'll be done Tuesday — Tuesday 2026."
Auckland Council, contacted for comment, said the portal was "performing within expected parameters" and that ratepayers experiencing issues should "clear their cache and try again during off-peak hours". Off-peak hours were not specified. The spokesperson then asked The Daily Yarn to hold while she logged in to check something. She did not come back.
A consultant brought in to review the portal in 2022 was paid $480,000 and recommended "a refreshed user journey". The refreshed user journey is the current portal.
Falaniko is now on hold to the helpdesk. He has been on hold for an hour and twenty. The hold music is, he reports, a panpipe version of Crowded House.
Takapuna sparkie Reuben Falaniko, 41, was trying to pay a $312 inspection fee before knock-off. He got as far as the password screen and stayed there. "Tried Council1!. Nope. Tried Council123!. Nope. Tried GetFucked2024!. That one it accepted briefly then locked me out for 'suspicious activity'. My own suspicious activity, on my own bloody account."
A second tradie at the same job, plumber Manaia Reweti, said he'd given up entirely and was going to post a cheque. "Mate, I haven't written a cheque since the Clark government. Council reckons that's fine. Takes six weeks to clear. Job'll be done Tuesday — Tuesday 2026."
Auckland Council, contacted for comment, said the portal was "performing within expected parameters" and that ratepayers experiencing issues should "clear their cache and try again during off-peak hours". Off-peak hours were not specified. The spokesperson then asked The Daily Yarn to hold while she logged in to check something. She did not come back.
A consultant brought in to review the portal in 2022 was paid $480,000 and recommended "a refreshed user journey". The refreshed user journey is the current portal.
Falaniko is now on hold to the helpdesk. He has been on hold for an hour and twenty. The hold music is, he reports, a panpipe version of Crowded House.