LEVIN RATEPAYERS FORK OUT $84K FOR REPORT CONCLUDING REPORTS ARE UNDERFUNDED

So I'm down at the Speight's the other night. This bloke Dennis I know through my brother-in-law leans over. Mate, he says, you'll never guess what Horowhenua District Council's done. I'm thinking, could be anything.

Dennis works in something adjacent to something. Always got the mail. He reckons the council paid a consultancy mob out of Palmy eighty-four grand for a report on the state of council reporting. The report concluded that council reports are "under-resourced and require further investigation." Dennis was quoting the exec summary. I think.

Geraldine Voss, a ratepayer down the Bishopdale end of Levin, told the local rag she was "absolutely fucking ropeable." Her words. "They've paid a bloke in a vest to tell them they need another bloke in a vest. My rates went up 11 percent. For this."

A council spokesperson said the report was "a valuable first step." A follow-up scoping document has already been commissioned. Cost undisclosed. Dennis reckons north of forty grand. Dennis is about 60 percent right on numbers, so call it thirty and a pie.

The consultancy has been shortlisted to write the follow-up. Funny how that works. My late Gerald worked in local government back when a report was a bloke writing on the back of a docket. He'd have had the lot of them out on their ear by smoko. Instead I've got my son's girlfriend telling me at Sunday lunch that consultants "add value." Add value. To what, love.

Anyway, that's what Dennis told me. Might be eighty-four grand, might be ninety-four. Same again, ta.