Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Council Chaos

NELSON COUNCIL SCHEDULES MEETING TO DISCUSS SCHEDULING OF FUTURE MEETINGS

Ratepayers told the agenda for the agenda meeting will be circulated at a later agenda meeting.

Nelson City Council will hold a meeting on 14 November to discuss the scheduling of its 2025 meeting calendar. The meeting has already been rescheduled twice. The committee couldn't agree on when to meet.

The meeting-about-meetings will be held in the Richmond chambers, despite Richmond being run by Tasman District Council. One councillor reportedly called this "a separate workshop item". The venue was booked through a consultant at a cost the council says is "commercially sensitive".

Richmond sparky Murray Kenton, chasing a consent on a Queen Street rewire for nine months, told The Daily Yarn he'd had a gutsful. "Mate. I've got gib off the walls, customer on one power point. These knobs are having a meeting about when to have a meeting. About meetings. I'd laugh if it wasn't my fucking invoice."

Stoke roofer Bex Harland said her last building inspection was bumped for "a governance workshop". "Reckon the workshop was about workshops too. Wouldn't shock me."

A council spokesperson said the scheduling meeting was "important internal alignment work" and outcomes would be "socialised" at a December meeting, pending availability. Asked if the December meeting was on the calendar, she said that was "what the November meeting is for".

The consultant has requested a pre-meeting briefing. It is being scheduled.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Reader Letters

Trev_Hornby

Bloody waste of rates!

frustrated_phil

Mate, I'm convinced Nelson council has lost the plot. I have been chasing for months about a simple property title change, and now they're faffing about over when to set dates? It's a pisstake, alright. Seems like a convenient smokescreen for their lack of work on actual issues. Priorities are all rooted.

Garry (Halswell)

Back in my day, councils made decisions in real time, over cuppas, not bloated committee meetings. Decision made, action taken. Now it’s all about creating unnecessary complexity, with endless pointless meetings. Madness.

Sue_ConcernedCitizen

Councils love wasting money on consultants. It's the modern way of justifying their inaction. This meeting of meetings is another layer of bureaucracy. Ask yourselves, who truly benefits from all this scheduling talk? The consultants, probably. Classic.

couchgremlin

Lol.

NelsonNige

What's even more ludicrous is them using Richmond chambers. It’s not Nelson, it's not their jurisdiction. Just sticking it to the Tasman rates-payers using a venue not meant for such nonsense.

ropeable_dave

Mate, the venue needs those chambers open when they’re quiet. It's about logistics, not sticking it to rates-payers.

Sandra McKenzie

@ropeable_dave have you considered they might've jumped at Richmond to actually get something booked before the year 2025?

LarryB_Tasman

Just wait till the final cost of these 'alignment meetings' comes out. Wouldn't surprise me if it’s more than a small country’s GDP. Taxpayers’ money pissed away. One scheduled meeting at a time.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one every morning.

SATIRE — Everything on this site is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.