WELLINGTON CITY COUNCIL HIRES CONSULTANT TO CONSULT ON WHETHER IT NEEDS MORE CONSULTANTS
Bloke I know reckons the fee's got a fee. And that fee's got a mate.
Right, pull up a stool. Heard this from a mate who works at the Council in something called "strategic outcomes", whatever that is. Wellington City Council has hired a consultant. To consult. On whether the Council needs more consultants. Have a sip. I'll wait.
Back in '74 you'd have asked Trevor from Works and Trevor would've told you before smoko. Now it's $180,000 to a woman called Prue on Featherston Street. That's what my mate reckons. He was on his second pint, mind.
Hataitai ratepayer Miriama Tolley, who I bumped into at the dairy, was not thrilled. "They put the rates up eighteen percent," she said. "Now they're paying someone to work out if they need someone. I could do it. I'll do it for a pie."
A Council spokesperson — I wrote this on the back of a Countdown receipt — said the work was "a prudent piece of upstream capability mapping." That is the biggest pile of shit I've heard since they shut the town belt dunny. A second consultant will then review the first. My mate might be having me on. He usually isn't.
Meanwhile the footpath outside the Hataitai shops is the same one I broke my ankle on in 1974. Southerly's up again. Council reckons they're "scoping" that too.
Anyway. Cheers.
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
This council's full of shit.
Stan_64
Back in my day, you didn't need a consultant to tell you common sense! We just asked Trevor from Works and sorted it before smoko. What a piss-take getting all these consultants for nonsense stuff.
ropeable_dave
Mate, Hataitai footpath's been shattered for decades. Times change, but some things never do.
couchgremlin
Lol.
Sandra_MtVic
At this rate, the entire budget will be spent on consultants and fancy terms like "upstream capability mapping"! What a load of waffle.
seriously_ANNA
You lot are all moaners. Prue’s consultations bring long-term value, not that you’d get that.
Trev_Hornby
They only care about rooting more money out from us ratepayers! The footpaths are still bloody dangerous, but there's always cash for consultants, eh?
Penny_Dean
@Trev_Hornby, yeah but at least the new fee has a fee, probably fast-tracked to consultant it!
Wayne1987
Wouldn't trust them with my gumboots let alone consulting a consultant! Reckon they’re taking the piss.
Fraser_78
Never seen consultants fix a footpath. Just step around the cracks like everyone else!