ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS RANGIORA WOOLWORTHS SELF-CHECKOUT 'EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT' ON CUSTOMERS
Two years of hearings, 47 witnesses, one broken barcode scanner — the Commission has spoken.
The Royal Commission of Inquiry into the Rangiora Woolworths Self-Checkout Incident of 14 March has today released its 340-page report. On the balance of probabilities, Machine Six did request emotional support from a customer scanning a cucumber.
Under its Terms of Reference, the Commission was asked to determine three things. Whether the machine said what it said. Whether the customer was obliged to respond. And why there was only one supervisor on for the whole of North Canterbury on a Saturday. Forty-seven witnesses were called, including three baristas from next door (shout out to Mieke at Good Vibes, who gave cracking evidence!!), a Woolworths regional manager, and a woman named Colleen who was just trying to buy Tux.
Key witness Deborah Sillars, 58, of Rangiora, told the Commission the machine froze mid-scan and displayed the message 'PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE — I AM HAVING A HARD DAY'. 'I stood there for six minutes,' Sillars testified. 'It kept beeping like it was crying. I patted the screen. I don't know why I patted the screen.'
Finding 12 concludes that Woolworths Rangiora was operating with a staff-to-machine ratio the Commission described as 'frankly a piss-take'. Finding 19 notes that supervisor Kaydence, 19, was helping four other checkouts, a click-and-collect dispute, and someone asking where the pineapple lumps had gone. A Woolworths spokesperson said the store was 'appropriately resourced' and declined to elaborate under oath.
Recommendation 14 proposes all self-checkouts in Canterbury be fitted with a dedicated 'emotional escalation button', separate from the existing help light nobody watches. Recommendation 22 suggests Kaydence get a pay rise, a lanyard upgrade, and 'at minimum, a bloody chair'.
The Commission has adjourned pending a supplementary inquiry into the Papanui machine that keeps saying 'unexpected item' when there is no item. Machine Six is back in service. As of Thursday it was refusing to scan bananas.
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Reader Letters
Shazza_in_Spencerville
Bloody machines are never easy.
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, customer service meant talking to a real person. I remember when the checkout operator knew your name and asked how your kids were. Now it’s just beeps and frustration. And apparently, now it’s the checkouts who need the nappies changed!
Kea_Observer
This is more about understaffing than machines. The poor workers are the ones paying for it. I'd support the lanyard upgrade any day.
CouchBandit
Colleen should get a medal for her patience. Probably more than what the staff get, eh?
KnackeredJohn
Mate, a machine needing emotional support? That’s capitalism all buggered up right there!
AwkwardPeter
This is all a load of bollocks. Waste of time and money. How did they need 340 pages for this nonsense? The council should focus on real issues, like potholes and traffic lights that actually work.
janet_in_yaldhurst
How is having a single supervisor over so many tasks supposed to work efficiently? They have all these machines and no staff? Your logic processor's buggered, Woolies.
Trev_Hornby
Lol.
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