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School Gate

ARO VALLEY SCHOOL GALA COLLAPSES INTO BARTER ECONOMY AFTER $1 COIN SHORTAGE

By 11.20am the sausage sizzle was accepting eftpos, IOUs, and one jar of kombucha.

The annual gala at an Aro Valley primary school ran out of $1 coins forty minutes in on Saturday, prompting what one parent called "a soft-launch of the apocalypse".

Organisers had budgeted for 400 gold coins. By 10.40am the float tin was, per the treasurer, "empty in every sense". Most of it had gone on sausages in bread.

Parent Fenella Cotterill-Marsh, 41, said the cake stall queue started negotiating amongst itself. "A woman in front of me traded a lamington for two raffle tickets and half a flat white. I don't know who set the exchange rate. It wasn't the PTA."

A Thorndon dad tried to pay the bouncy castle operator in Kiwibank vouchers. A public servant from two streets over offered to Venmo someone, was told that's not a thing here, and went to sit in his Audi.

PTA co-chair Miriam Halswell told The Daily Yarn the situation was "absolutely under control", while holding a snap-lock bag of twenty-cent pieces. She confirmed the sausage sizzle was accepting eftpos, one jar of kombucha, and "a verbal IOU from a bloke we all know where he lives".

The gala wrapped half an hour early after the book stall was cleaned out by a woman paying in five-cent pieces. She said she'd been saving them "for exactly this".

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Reader Letters

Trev_Hornby

Only in Aro Valley! What a circus!

Garry (Halswell)

This is what happens when you rely on electronic money too much. Back in my day, we always had spare coins tucked away for these events. It's just common sense! We've lost the plot lately with all these digital conveniences. Sometimes simple is better, mate!

wayne1987

How is Venmo not a thing here yet? We're years behind sometimes.

tired_in_riccarton

Mate, your conspiracy doesn't hold up. How many galas you been to lately?

couchgremlin

Laughing at the kombucha currency! Aro Valley, never change.

megan778

Lol.

Sandra McKenzie

Honestly, this whole thing sounds like a total piss-take. Did they forget to budget properly? Where did all those coins go?

ropeable_dave

Sandra, they clearly spent it all on bloody sausages. Priorities!

ARROWTOWN PTA MEETING ENTERS SEVENTH HOUR AS WELLINGTON MOTHER REFUSES TO LEAVE

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