CHRISTCHURCH COACH TELLS FLAXMERE UNDER-12s MUD-PIT IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" — PARENTS DISAGREE
Coach reckons the ankle-deep sludge is a life lesson. One dad reckons it's a war crime.
A visiting Christchurch coach in charge of a Flaxmere under-12s side has told parents the waterlogged pitch at Saturday's fixture was "character building". The undersigned can confirm this did not go down well.
The coach, one Grantley Purchase, 44, arrived in Napier this month via what he described as "a lifestyle decision". At half-time Mr Purchase told parents the mud — shin-deep at the northern touchline — was "how we did it in Hornby" and the kids needed to "harden the fuck up". Two children were, at that point, crying.
Parent Wiremu Skelton, whose son plays lock and had lost a boot to the pitch, told The Daily Yarn: "Mate, this bloke's flown in from Christchurch and he's lecturing us about weather. It's Hawke's Bay. It's meant to be sunny. Character building my arse — my kid's got trench foot."
A second parent, Deborah Farquhar, was more direct. "He can piss off back over the hill. My boy came home looking like a kumara. Grantley reckons that's resilience. I reckon Grantley's a tosser." Mrs Farquhar was, at time of writing, drafting a WhatsApp to the committee described by one recipient as "nine paragraphs and building".
A club spokesperson confirmed the field had been flagged as "marginal" by the groundsman at 7am and "a fucking swamp" by the same groundsman at 9am. The spokesperson added Mr Purchase's role was "under review" and that Hawke's Bay parents "do not respond well to Cantabrian life advice".
Mr Purchase was last seen scraping mud off a clipboard and telling a seven-year-old prop that "this is what the All Blacks did in '87". The prop, per witnesses, told him to get fucked.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Soft kids these days!
kiwi_mum_1981
As a Cantabrian, I can confirm that not all of us think mud is some holy grail of character building. This bloke sounds like he's got more mud in his head than on the field! Shouldn't the priority be playing a safe game? Let's keep our kids' well-being front and centre, yeah? It's time to review this 'tough love' nonsense before someone gets hurt!
Garry (Halswell)
I played in worse!
wayne1987
Garry, no one's buying it. Times have changed, and safety comes first, aye. Get with the times!
Debs_from_Napier
Game should have been called off. It’s disgusting they let the kids play in that mess. The coach is a right prat thinking mud will make them tough. It’s just bloody irresponsible.
seriously_dave
Mate, it's not even raining. Let's talk about things that matter instead of these muddy distractions!
conspiracist_grant
Mate, you think a bit of mud is the issue? It's the same old pattern. Bigwig swoops in, waves some Cantabrian nonsense about, and we're all left with a mess. Hawke's Bay deserves better than this clownery.
rugger_rob
It's what they did in '87! Haha what a load of bollocks. That was a different time and definitely a different game. Anyone remember Jordie Barrett back then? Yeah, me neither.
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