PAPAKURA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-13 GAME, DECLINES TO PUT IT DOWN

A Papakura father has spent the entire second half of an under-13 hockey match at Massey Park amplifying his opinions through a battery-powered megaphone, and told The Daily Yarn afterwards he had "no bloody regrets whatsoever".

The man, identified by other parents as Wayne Tuiletufuga, arrived at the 9am fixture carrying the megaphone, a camp chair, and what witnesses described as "a real sense of purpose". He began transmitting at the first short corner and did not stop until the final whistle, at which point he continued for another four minutes into the car park.

"Ref missed a stick tackle in the first ten," Wayne said, megaphone still in hand, still on. "Ref's a fucking coward. I've told him. I've told him via the device. He knows."

The umpire, aged 16 and doing his second season, said he could hear Wayne "very clearly, thank you" and had considered abandoning the match around the 40-minute mark when Wayne began broadcasting the umpire's home suburb. A parent from the opposing Howick side described the noise as "like being yelled at by a drive-thru", and said her daughter had scored a goal she couldn't hear celebrated because Wayne was mid-sentence about zonal marking.

Auckland Hockey confirmed it was "aware of the incident" and that megaphones were, in fact, covered under the code of conduct as "amplification devices, prohibited". A spokesperson added: "We didn't think we needed to spell it out. We do now."

Wayne has been asked not to bring the megaphone next Saturday. He has indicated he will bring "a bigger one", and has already ordered it off Temu.