LINWOOD FENCE PAINT DISPUTE ESCALATES TO COMMUNITY HALL MEDIATION, THREE SAUSAGE ROLLS EATEN IN ANGER
Resene Half Tea vs Resene Quarter Tea. Neither party willing to concede the shade.
A dispute over the colour of a shared paling fence on a Linwood cul-de-sac has escalated to formal mediation at the local community hall. It follows eleven weeks of notes, one shouted exchange over the letterbox, and a paint swatch card left face-up on the shared driveway.
The fence, roughly 14 metres long, was repainted in August by resident Marissa Coldicutt, 44, in what she maintains is Resene Half Tea. Her neighbour, Grant Poulson, 51, contends the shade is 'clearly Quarter Tea, or something adjacent'.
'She knew what she was doing,' Poulson told The Daily Yarn from his front porch. 'We had a verbal understanding in 2019. She has broken that understanding by roughly one and a half shades.'
Coldicutt, contacted separately, said Poulson was 'a knob who measures things', and produced a receipt from Guthrie Bowron to support her version of events. The receipt was for masking tape.
Mediation commenced Tuesday evening at the community hall, presided over by a volunteer facilitator who previously handled a dispute about a wheelie bin left out for six days. Both parties reportedly consumed sausage rolls in what witnesses described as 'a pointed manner'. Poulson did agree to stop photographing the fence at dawn.
A further session is scheduled for next Thursday. The fence remains the colour it is.
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Reader Letters
ShazzaToo
People have too much time.
Trev_Hornby
Honestly, this is what happens when you live so close to your neighbours! I had something similar with mine. We argued for weeks over the hedge height. Eventually, we had a BBQ to settle it and decided on a trim that everyone could live with. Keep calm and have a sausage, I reckon.
simon_b
Mate, does it even matter? It's a bloody fence, not the Mona Lisa!
Cosmic_Kiwi
This marvellous fence saga is another distraction. The real issue is the impending UFO sightings the government is keeping under wraps. Soon, all our fences will be taken for alien research.
Kiwi_Builder_Bob
@Cosmic_Kiwi UFOs are more believable than getting a straight answer from a paint store, I reckon!
Sandra McKenzie
Sausage rolls aside, Grant's got a point. Resene Half Tea and Quarter Tea are not the same, and anyone who’s painted knows that’s not just splitting hairs—it's a whole different loaf of bread.
Garry_Halswell
The real tragedy here is three sausage rolls eaten in anger. Just share the bloody fence paint and stop wasting food!
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