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The Daily Yarn

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Suburban Crime

WHITBY MAN INSTALLS FOUR-CAMERA CCTV RIG TO WATCH LETTERBOX NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED TO

Neighbours say the letterbox has been assaulted zero times in eleven years. Trevor disagrees, in advance.

A Whitby homeowner has spent what he describes as "north of two grand" on a four-camera CCTV system pointed exclusively at his letterbox. The letterbox has never been interfered with.

Trevor Alsop, 61, of Discovery Drive, said the cameras were a "deterrent". He cited a wave of letterbox crime he has personally never experienced but has read about on a Tawa Facebook group. "You can't be too careful," he told The Daily Yarn, standing under a floodlight now attracting moths of an unusual size.

The rig covers the letterbox from four angles, including one mounted on a garden stake at ankle height. It does not cover the front door, the garage, the side gate, or the shed.

Neighbour Denise Pauling, two doors down, called it a piss-take. "Nothing happens on this street. A rat ran across the driveway in August and it was the talk of the book club. He's guarding a Bunnings letterbox from a threat that doesn't exist."

A Wellington police spokesperson confirmed no letterbox offences had been reported in Whitby this year. Residents were welcome to install cameras, they added, "provided they do not point into a neighbour's bathroom, which we are having to say more often than we'd like".

Trevor has since received his first piece of mail under surveillance. It was a rates notice. He filmed himself opening it and has kept the footage.

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Reader Letters

Trev_Hornby

What a waste of dosh.

WhitlberryJester

Mate, he probably thinks he's living in a spy movie. Next, he'll be filming cats using the kerb and submitting as evidence!

GrandadRick

Bloody hell, Trevor! If he's got money to burn, he can pay my rates. Honestly, who needs four cameras on a letterbox? This is Kiwi paranoia at its finest. Back in my day, we'd leave our doors unlocked and nothing went missing.

calm_sandra

Honestly, you're all taking this too seriously. It's a laugh, really, and at the end of the day, it's his money. Let him be the Letterbox King if he wants.

conspiracy_chick

I bet it's because of all those conspiracy documentaries on YouTube. Next, he'll be saying the cats are government spies trying to nick his mail.

SandraSouthern

This sort of paranoia isn't new. I remember when my neighbour put barbed wire around his garden because he thought possums were plotting against him. Trevor isn't alone in his fears.

Tina_Bluestone

Four cameras for a letterbox? Sounds like his common sense is rooted, mate.

crafty_kate

Seriously, Trevor? Get a hobby, mate.

sarcastic_sam

But what if, one day, the unthinkable does happen to the letterbox? He'll have the last laugh while we're left with our jaws on the floor.

miffed_murray

Stop wasting time on this nutter. Focus on real issues, like why petrol's bloody dear!

GREYTOWN COMMUTER'S CHIP BUTTY TAKEN CLEAN OUT OF HAND BY SEAGULL WITH "NO REGARD FOR THE QUEUE"

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