BURNSIDE DECK JOB 'DONE TUESDAY' ENTERS THIRD YEAR, PILES STILL IN UTE
The homeowner has aged. The Auckland sparky's mate has not been seen since March 2023.
It was a Tuesday morning in Burnside. Nothing about that day suggested what was about to unfold — least of all to Marina Whitcombe, 58, who had been promised a finished back deck by knock-off.
That Tuesday was in October 2022. The deck, as of this week, remains a stack of H3.2 under a tarp that has itself started to compost. The suspect — an Auckland builder subcontracted through Marina's cousin's ex — has not been on site since March 2023, when he ate a mince and cheese, measured nothing, and left.
"He rung me from the Bombays," Marina told The Daily Yarn, standing on what should have been step three. "Said he was heading down for the weekend, be done Tuesday. That was the last Tuesday I trusted. Had eighty-odd Tuesdays since. None of them were the one."
A neighbour, Kev Ratahi, said he'd watched the tarp go through two nor'westers and a hailstorm. "Me old man had a bloke like this in '74. Said he'd be back after lunch. Came back in '78. Different bloke, same excuse." Kev has started a spreadsheet.
The suspect, rung on a mobile that rang out for six minutes before a woman answered and said "he's on a job", was unavailable for comment. His ute — a grey Hilux, Warriors decal, tailgate rooted — was last spotted at a BP in Rangiriri in August. The piles for Marina's deck are, according to the tray, still in it.
A Christchurch building inspector said the paperwork was "technically still open" and the consent had been issued during John Key's second term. Marina has started referring to the deck in the past tense. The tarp is sprouting something green.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Typical bloody Aucklanders, always pissing off and leaving a mess.
chchcynic
This story just gets wilder with every line. Mate's probably still at the Bombays, lost!
SophieB94
Honestly, fuck the lot of them. How hard is it to follow through on a job?
wayward_dad
Should've checked the consent in the first place. Boomers these days can’t rely on anyone younger for their DIY projects!
Karen_from_Rangiora
@wayward_dad Maybe if these boomers paid on time, work would actually get done. Ever thought of that?
couch_dweller
Lol.
practical_pat
Marina should just buy a new tarp. Problem solved.
Trev_Hornby
Mate, you’re missing the point. It’s not about the tarp, it’s the principle!
Garry (Halswell)
I once had a bloke take five years to finish a bathroom. Turned up, did nothing, vanished. Least he didn't leave it munted like Marina’s.
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