OHAUITI DECK JOB 'DONE TUESDAY' ENTERS THIRD CALENDAR YEAR, AUCKLAND SPARKY BLAMES 'TRAFFIC'

An Auckland tradie who told an Ohauiti homeowner the deck extension would be 'done Tuesday' has this week entered the third calendar year of that Tuesday, with no revised timeline offered beyond 'yeah nah, soon as'.

The homeowner, Delwyn Kaa, 58, said the job was quoted in the winter of 2022 when the bloke — a mate of her son-in-law's — drove down from Papakura in a ute with more decals than panels. 'He measured it up, drank two Zespris out of the fridge, said Tuesday. I said which Tuesday. He laughed. I laughed. I shouldn't have laughed.'

In 1974 a bloke would've had that deck up between smoko and lunch, and charged you in beer. These days you get a deposit invoice inside forty minutes and then radio silence until the pipfruit's back in season.

The tradie, contacted at what Delwyn believes is his current number, told The Daily Yarn the delay was down to 'the fucking Kaimais, ay' and a supplier in Penrose who was 'a good cunt but a shit communicator'. Asked which Tuesday specifically he now had in mind, he said 'after Christmas' without specifying which Christmas. He also mentioned a boat.

Delwyn's husband Rangi has in the interim taught himself to lay decking via YouTube, completed the northern half, and is now 'philosophically opposed' to finishing the southern half out of spite. 'It's a monument now,' he said. 'To Tuesday.'

STATEMENT FROM TAURANGA CITY COUNCIL

Tauranga City Council is aware of community concerns regarding delays to residential building works in the Ohauiti area. Council notes that private contractual arrangements between homeowners and builders fall outside Council's direct jurisdiction, however Council remains committed to supporting positive outcomes for ratepayers where appropriate.

The building consent associated with the property in question was issued in a timely manner and remains valid. Council understands that some works have progressed, and encourages all parties to engage constructively toward completion in due course.

A review of consent lapse timeframes is scheduled to be undertaken at an appropriate future point. Further updates will be provided as information becomes available.

Council thanks the community for its ongoing patience.