WESTSHORE ROOFERS DOWN TOOLS EVERY TIME A PLANE GOES OVER — "SAFETY", APPARENTLY

Right, so. There's a roofing crew out at Westshore on one of those places along the front. New roof. Been at it since Labour Weekend. And they stop work every time a plane goes over. Down tools, hands on hips, watch it come in over the estuary. Then smoko, because by then it's smoko anyway. I got this off a mate two doors along, so the numbers might be a bit off. The gist is right. That's nine or ten planes a day out there. More on a Friday when the Wellington lot fly up to drink the wine and moan about the price of it.

Bloke who owns the house is Rangi Whakataka. Reckons he's logged more air traffic than the tower has. The 7.40 from Auckland, they stop. The Sounds Air thing from Blenheim, they stop. A helicopter went over in February, recovery mob still doing the culverts, and they stopped for that too. "Twenty minutes," Rangi told me. "For a helicopter." He's got half a roof and a tarp. The tarp's got a name now (Trevor, apparently). Never a good sign, that.

Foreman's a fella called Kapa. Good cunt, always got a pie from the dairy on the go. I asked him about it. He said it was a fucking safety thing, Barry, like I'd turned up with a clipboard. Bloke on a ridgeline with a nail gun, Q300 comes over at two hundred metres, you want him looking at the nail gun or the plane? Exactly, he said. Health and safety. Look it up. I said I would. I did not.

Then it got worse, or better, depending where you're sitting. My mate reckons they've started stopping for planes they can hear but can't see. This is the bit I can't back up. Cloud comes in off the bay, someone goes "that'll be the 11.15," and everyone's sat on the deck. A Hastings crew wouldn't get away with that. Hastings hasn't got an airport. Hastings hasn't got a lot of things.

WorkSafe, when I rang, said there's no regulation requiring cessation of work during overflight. Then, after a pause, they said they don't discourage looking up. Napier City Council said it wasn't a council matter. Asked if I'd like to comment on the hose ban instead. I said no. I did anyway. Lost twenty minutes.

Back in '74 you'd have had that roof on in a week. Hungover, no scaffold, nobody stopping for anything short of a stranding off the pier. Mind you, in '74 there were about three planes a day and one of them was the mail. Rangi says the crew are right onto it, done Tuesday. Kapa says the same. Then the 4.55 from Christchurch came over and everyone sat down again. Fair enough, I suppose. Hang on, this one's gone warm. Whose shout is it.