GUYS. I HAVE TO ADDRESS THE UMBRELLA SITUATION.
A Northcote content creator's tearful apology after a Southland-branded umbrella inverted on Cranford Street.
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video.
deep breath
So. As many of you know, on Tuesday I was walking down Cranford Street. Just living my truth. Doing a little content walk. And my umbrella inverted. And I know what you're thinking. You're right to hold me accountable. Because that umbrella was from Invercargill. And I never disclosed that.
Senior Daily Yarn correspondent Margaret Henderson, 71, of Marshlands, has been sitting with this. She's been doing the work. "It buggered itself inside out before I'd got past the letterbox," she told viewers, dabbing at one dry eye. "Gerald bought me a proper brolly in 1987. Lasted until he passed. This Southland thing lasted eleven seconds."
Margaret then blamed climate change, the nor'wester, and her son's new girlfriend. "She recommended it. She would." She paused to acknowledge her privilege in owning more than one umbrella. Then blamed climate change again.
A MetService spokesperson said gusts on Tuesday hit 65km/h, which is "a Wednesday, really". Margaret has committed to buying only Canterbury-made umbrellas going forward. To my community, I am so sorry.
The umbrella is still inverted in a bin outside the New World. Links below for my new course on accountability.
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Reader Letters
Kathy_Northcote
Umbrellas are a joke.
GrahamOldSchool
Back in my day, we listened to weather reports and used raincoats. This is what happens when you rely on flimsy umbrellas, mate.
sensible_sarah
Why would anyone walk down Cranford Street with an Invercargill umbrella? Recipe for disaster.
pragmatic_pete
Mate, umbrellas are a thing of the past. Just dress properly for once.
weatherwary
Umbrellas should be built to withstand at least 70km/h winds. MetService is too lax. They should issue warnings for shoddy umbrellas!
PrecisePatrick
Wasn't Tuesday a bit unusual though? 65km/h isn't just "a Wednesday". Someone needs to check MetService's measuring tools.
eco_ella
Umbrellas from Invercargill falling apart in Canterbury?! Has to be climate change, no other explanation. Soon we'll blame that for losing our jandals in the sand!
ropeable_dave
@PrecisePatrick mate, maybe it's your measure of a "strong gust" that's off. 65km/h is nothing to write home about.
umbrella_expert
Do better research when buying umbrellas, folks. I only use Wellington-proof ones and they stand up to anything!