HOKOWHITU PICNIC ABANDONED AFTER SIX MINUTES, THERMOSES DEPLOYED IN SILENT PROTEST
What began as a family gathering at Hokowhitu Domain ended in a Fitzherbert Avenue lounge, with three thermoses and a grievance.
A Sunday picnic at Hokowhitu Domain was abandoned after six minutes when a Manawatu wind the locals called "pretty average, really" turned the sausage rolls into projectiles. One aunt's cardigan came clean off the rug.
Organiser Denise Fothergill, 58, said she'd checked the forecast twice. "It said 40 gusting 55. I took that as picnic-viable. It was not. Half the ham sandwiches ended up in the flax. My sister Yvonne got a napkin in the eye and hasn't spoken to me since."
The party of eleven decamped to Denise's Fitzherbert Avenue lounge. Three thermoses appeared on the coffee table within minutes — one tea, one coffee, one "soup, if anyone's asking". No-one asked. Nobody poured from another person's thermos. My late husband Gerald would have called it a standoff.
Tensions escalated when brother-in-law Neville produced a fourth thermos and placed it on the mantelpiece. "That's Neville's thermos," Yvonne told The Daily Yarn, in a tone suggesting Neville's thermos had a criminal record. "He brings it to everything. Nobody knows what's in it. He won't say."
A MetService spokesperson said Sunday's wind was "within seasonal norms for the Manawatu". That's the sort of thing they say when your gazebo is in the river. Denise has cancelled next month's picnic. She's considering a "nice indoor lunch", provided Yvonne is speaking to her by then.
Neville's thermos remains on the mantelpiece. It has not been opened.
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Reader Letters
★ Trev_Hornby
Rooted if you ask me.
★ BarryBishopdale
Back in my day, we didn't call off a picnic for a bit of wind. Toughen up!
tinytanker
Mate, back in your day the weather was probably just as bad, there's just more to do indoors now!
★ Margaret_F
Can't beat a thermos standoff. Classic.
★ Margaret_F
Oh, Gerald would've loved this story. He had a thermos collection, and insisted on discussing their origins during family gatherings. It did get tedious, I admit!
Garry (Halswell)
My aunty lost her sunhat to the wind down there once. You just can’t predict it.
JoannePetone
Picnics in Hokowhitu always end in disaster. Saw an entire birthday cake go rolling down the hill once!
★ Trev_Hornby
Neville's thermos is a mystery better left unsolved. Pretty sure everyone has one relative like that, too keen on their own brew.
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