WINTON MAN LAUNCHES ONE-MAN INQUIRY INTO NEIGHBOUR'S SOLAR PANELS, WHICH HE BELIEVES ARE 'WATCHING HIM MOW'
The panels face north. His lawn is north. He has drawn conclusions.
Winton
Every yarn The Daily Yarn has filed from Winton — 4 yarns of invented local news, newest first. None of it happened.
WINTON UNDER-11S NEARLY RIOT AFTER HALF-TIME ORANGES REPLACED WITH "BUDGET BLOODY MANDARINS"
Club treasurer defends the swap. Sideline dads defend nothing of the sort.
WINTON UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED BY PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL
Three stoppages in twelve minutes. The cow's still out there.
WINTON SPARKIES SEND APPRENTICE TO AUCKLAND FOR TARTAN PAINT, LONG WEIGHT — HE'S BEEN GONE SINCE TUESDAY
Lad flew out of Invercargill on a 6am Jetstar. Has rung four Mitre 10s and a Resene in Penrose. None of them are laughing.