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LINWOOD SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN

The scarecrow was not present. Nor was the ceremony.

A scarecrow in a Linwood front yard has been declared Best Dressed at an awards evening that, according to the council, did not take place.

The scarecrow has been up since Easter, when owner Moira Kelleher put it out to scare off the blackbirds. It has since acquired a name (Reginald), a hat from the op-shop, and now a trophy.

"I got a phone call Sunday morning saying he'd won," Kelleher, 71, told The Daily Yarn. "I said won what. They said Best Dressed. I said which awards. They hung up. Then a certificate turned up in the letterbox on Monday."

The certificate, sighted by this reporter, is signed by a "committee" and dated for an evening that residents confirm involved nothing more than bin night. Reminds me of the pier committee back in 1974, which also gave out awards nobody attended. At least then there were sausage rolls.

A neighbour across the road, Dennis, has his suspicions. "Kids from the high school. Or someone with a laminator and too much time. Either way, Reginald deserves it. Bloody good jacket."

Kelleher has pinned the certificate to Reginald's lapel. She says he seems pleased, though it's hard to tell.

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Reader Letters

Garry (Halswell)

Wouldn't have happened back in 1986. Standards were higher, and we respected community events back then. Now it's all pranks and nonsense.

Trev_Hornby

She'll be right, as long as Reginald's got that jacket on. Probably more dressed up than those clipboard munters at council.

JoannePetone

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if this was the teenagers from The Hutt causing mischief. Heard they've been up to all sorts recently.

SarahInSumner

Dennis is onto something. The high school kids love a good prank. It's harmless fun, and no one's hurt. Let's just enjoy it.

DesertRoadDan

Why was there no sausage rolls?

couchgremlin

Lol.

Dizzy_Dunc

Mate, but why the phone call at all? Seems munted to me.

stone_the_rocks

Nah, the council's got better things to do than mess about with scarecrow certificates.

Flatmate_Fiona

Reginald must have a better wardrobe than Geoff. Where's his award?

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