DUNEDIN CITY COUNCIL SHUTS NORTH DUNEDIN PLAYGROUND FOR 'ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE' — NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN WHAT THAT IS
Sources who spoke to The Daily Yarn on condition of anonymity say the swings were 'basically fine, mate'.
A North Dunedin playground has been fenced off by Dunedin City Council for what a laminated sign calls "aspirational maintenance". No council staffer contacted by The Daily Yarn can define the term.
The playground was closed on Monday without warning. By Tuesday, four cones and a Site Safe sign had appeared. By Wednesday, the cones had been rearranged. No tradie has been sighted on site.
"It's a fucking piss-take," said Meg Ralston, 71, who walks past twice a day. "Nothing wrong with it. Swings work. Slide works. My mokopuna were on it Sunday. Monday it's a crime scene."
"Aspirational maintenance. What in the name of Christ is that. That's an office word."
A second source, a chippie two doors down who asked not to be named because he subcontracts to the council, said the job "could be done in a day by two blokes and a cordless". He put the cost at "six hundred, tops, pies included". Council has allocated a budget he described as "not that".
What we know: The playground is closed. The sign says "aspirational maintenance". Cones are present. A consultant has been engaged.
What we don't know: What aspirational maintenance is. When it ends. Whether anyone will turn up with tools. What the consultant is consulting on.
Dunedin City Council, asked what the term means, said the project was "in scoping" and would deliver "enhanced play outcomes aligned with community aspirations". Asked whether that meant fixing the swings, the spokesperson said the swings were "part of a wider conversation".
The swings, contacted for comment, did not respond. They were still moving in the southerly on Thursday, behind a fence, going nowhere. Much like the project. The Daily Yarn has approached Dunedin City Council for further comment.
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Reader Letters
KiwiDad
So what the hell is 'aspirational maintenance'? Sounds like utter bollocks to me. Can someone from the council explain it in plain English without all the fluff? My kids just want their swings back.
ropeable_dave
Mate, that's the council for you. Endless words, little action. I bet 'community aspirations' comes with a heap of emails and zero actual improvement.
tired_in_riccarton
Bloody council strikes again! How about focusing on fixing potholes instead of creating more useless jargon? Rates going up, services going down. Good on ya, Dunedin City Council.
couchgremlin
Lol.
BarryS2
Aspiring to do nothing, more like. Have you tried getting anything out of council these days? A bloody miracle if you manage it.
SueKee
@BarryS2 Really, Barry? My nephew works for the council and he’s always busy. Maybe it's not the workers but the people upstairs.
Garry (Halswell)
Back in the day, we didn't need a fancy term to fix a slide or swings. We'd pop over with tools, job done by sundown. Councils spend more time inventing terms than fixing things. It's rooted.
Grafton_Philly
Cones rearranged? That's just asking for a write-up on incompetence! It's comical if not for our rates funding it. I've seen more action from a detached wheelie bin.
TradieJim
Ah, 'aspirational maintenance'. They're just waiting for the wind to knock the damn thing down so they can build their new 'eco-friendly' monstrosity. You watch, it'll be 'carbon-neutral'.