HAMILTON DOG PARK STALLED BY SUBMISSION FROM A CAT NAMED DEREK

A proposed off-lead dog park on the St Andrews reserve has been shelved for a fourth consecutive quarter. Hamilton City Council has formally acknowledged a written submission from a cat named Derek.

The submission was three paragraphs, correctly formatted, signed with a paw print. It was tabled at the June planning meeting. It has since been referred to two subcommittees, an external consultant, and what one councillor called "a bit of a think." The dog park remains a paddock with a sign.

Local chippie Regan Puketapu lives two doors down. He's been waiting eighteen months to let his heading dog off the lead somewhere legal. "It's a fucking cat, mate. Someone at the council has typed up a letter for a cat and taken it seriously. My rates paid for that. I could've built the fence myself by smoko Tuesday."

The cat's owner lodged the submission "in Derek's voice" as a joke. She told The Daily Yarn she was horrified. "I wrote it after two wines. Didn't think they'd assign it a reference number. They've written back to Derek twice now. One was addressed to 'Mr D. Whiskers'."

A council spokesperson confirmed the submission was being processed "in accordance with standard consultation procedures". Asked whether Derek would be invited to speak at the hearing, the spokesperson said the matter was "still being scoped."

STATEMENT FROM HAMILTON CITY COUNCIL

Hamilton City Council is aware of community concerns regarding the proposed St Andrews off-lead dog exercise area. Council can confirm the consultation process is progressing in line with established procedural frameworks. All submissions received during the notified period have been given appropriate weight.

It is acknowledged that timelines have extended beyond initial estimates. This is due, in part, to the volume of feedback received. Resourcing considerations across the wider parks portfolio have also been a factor. A revised delivery window will be communicated to affected stakeholders in due course.

Council does not comment on the identity of individual submitters. All correspondence is treated with the same standard of care. Suggestions to the contrary are noted.

Ratepayers seeking further information are encouraged to visit the council website. An FAQ is being prepared and will be made available shortly.