GLENORCHY SHOP'S "CLOSING DOWN" SIGN NOW OLDER THAN THE OWNER'S YOUNGEST KID

A Glenorchy general store has renewed its "CLOSING DOWN — EVERYTHING MUST GO" signage for the ninth consecutive year, with the owner confirming to The Daily Yarn that closure remains "pretty imminent, mate".

The sign, first taped to the front window in 2016, has been through three replacements due to sun damage, one replacement due to a possum, and one strategic upgrade to fluoro orange when the tourists stopped noticing. The stock inside — described by one regular as "a lot of jandals and a surprising amount of Raro" — has not meaningfully changed.

Owner Deano Whitaker, who inherited the shop from his old man, said the closure had been delayed by "a couple of things". "Bloke was meant to come look at the roof. That was 2019. Then the border shut. Then the border opened and everyone wanted a fucking flat white instead of a pie. Anyway. Shutting soon."

Regular customer Marnie Costello, up from Kingston, said she'd been buying the same brand of sunblock off the same shelf for six years. "Sign said 70% off in 2020. Sign says 70% off now. Sign said 70% off when my nephew was born. He's at kindy."

A Queenstown Lakes District Council spokesperson said signage compliance was "a matter for the property owner" and declined to comment on whether nine years constituted "temporary". Deano has since ordered a tenth sign, in case.

The shop is open Tuesday to Saturday, and also whenever Deano feels like it.