Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Retail Ruckus

KMART HAMILTON'S 'TREASURE HUNT' REVEALED TO BE STAFF SIMPLY LOSING THINGS

Store insists misplaced stock is a 'family activity'. Shoppers reckon it's the same as every other Tuesday.

Kmart Hamilton has launched a school-holiday 'treasure hunt'. Children are invited to find marked-down homewares hidden throughout the store. Regular customers say this describes the shop's normal operating condition.

The activity, advertised on a laminated sign near the trolleys, promises 'hours of family fun' finding items 'cleverly placed' in unexpected aisles. A staff member, asked where a saucepan might be, said: 'Honestly, that IS the treasure hunt. If you find it, it's yours.'

Waiheke visitor Colleen Braithwaite, 62, over in Hamilton to see her sister, said she'd spent forty minutes looking for a bath mat. She found three air fryers, a child's scooter, and one lone thong in the candle aisle. 'My Gerald, God rest him, wouldn't have stood for it. He liked a shop where the towels were with the towels.'

Another shopper, Denise from Rototuna, said her grandson had found a set of wine glasses in the men's underwear section and been given nothing for his trouble. 'They said it wasn't a 'featured item'. I said it was featured enough that it was in with the jocks, wasn't it.'

A Kmart spokesperson said the promotion was 'engaging customers with our product range'. Pressed on when it would end, they said it would run 'until stock levels normalise'. They declined to specify a date.

The lone thong remains in the candle aisle. Staff have stopped moving it.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Reader Letters

couchgremlin

Lol. Kmart treasure hunt.

Garry (Halswell)

When I was a kid, shopping meant knowing where things were. My mum would write a list and we’d get through the store in 20 minutes flat. Now it's like a maze, and that's before they added a 'treasure hunt'. What happened to efficiency?

Sally_MtEden

Mate, if I wanted a workout, I'd go to the gym. Not rooting around Kmart just to find a frying pan.

Trev_Hornby

It's a piss-take! They should pay us to rearrange the stock. We aren’t staff!

Sandra McKenzie

Why go to Kmart at all? Support local businesses where they know their stock layout!

wayne1987

Sandra, you do know local shops don’t sell $3 fairy lights, right?

Prof_Theory

It's a strategic move by Kmart to encourage more foot traffic. The longer you're in the store, the more likely you are to buy something 'unexpected'.

vexed_vicky

Prof_Theory, or they just can't keep the place tidy?

uniqfind

What happens if I find the thong? Do I get a prize?

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one in your inbox every morning at 6am.

SATIRE — Everything on this site is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.