TAMAHERE PRINCIPAL'S NEWSLETTER NOW INCLUDES SIX STANZAS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE POETRY
Parents say the sonnet about the pickup lane is 'a bit much for a Wednesday'.
The weekly newsletter from a Tamahere primary school has, for the fourth week running, opened with an original poem from the principal, and parents are beginning to suspect it's about them specifically.
This week's offering, titled 'The Kiss and Ride (A Meditation)', runs to six stanzas and rhymes 'idling ute' with 'social disrepute'. It follows last fortnight's 'Ode to the Berm', which parents at the school gate describe as 'unnecessarily cutting about the Amarok crowd'.
Mother-of-three Philippa Reddington-Voss, who drives said Amarok, told The Daily Yarn she'd read the latest stanza twice on her phone in the pickup lane. "The line about 'engines that thrum where children walk' — I mean, come on. He's looking right at me when he writes that. I can feel it."
A second parent, Deano Kupa, said he'd stopped reading the newsletter after the haiku week. "Three lines. Seventeen syllables. All of them about my trailer. Bloody menace, that man."
The principal, contacted via the school office, said the poetry was "a gentle reminder" and that anyone who felt personally attacked "might consider why". He added that next week's piece was a villanelle about the sausage sizzle roster and would be "quite direct".
The PTA has requested the newsletter revert to bullet points. The principal has responded, in writing, with a limerick.
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Reader Letters
MumOf3_Tamahere
Why can't he just be direct?
sensible_si
It’s just a piss-take, laugh it off.
poetic_petey
What a bloody genius.
wayne_the_fence
Mate, not everyone’s a fan of poetry, that's for sure.
Garry (Halswell)
Remember when school newsletters just had dates and reminders? Now it's like a literature class every week. Back in the day, a sternly worded note was enough. If only they'd focus on what's important, like keeping the bathrooms clean!
nostalgic_norman
I wonder what Gerald would make of this principal! A limerick response would've been more his style back when he was head boy.
Deano1973
A villanelle? Mate, who even knows what that is?!
roadwarrior_rita
This principal is munted, mate!
couchpoet_NZ
Buggered if I know why folks are upset. The principal's just trying to make a point without pointing fingers directly. It’s clever, if you ask me. Better than getting called in for a meeting about every little thing.
mumzilla87
Mate, that's not all he wrote. He’s taking aim at everyone with those poems. The last one even mentioned 'coffee in left hands' and I swear he's watching us at drop-off.