Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Sports Sideline

GLADSTONE NETBALL DAD FILMS UMPIRE, 14, "FOR THE TRIBUNAL" — THERE IS NO TRIBUNAL

The umpire is in Year 10. The tribunal is a bloke from Nelson with a phone.

A father in Gladstone who shifted down from Nelson last year has filmed every netball game his daughter has played this winter "for the tribunal". Netball Southland says there is no tribunal. There has never been a tribunal.

Clint Hadfield, 44, stands courtside every Saturday with his phone out at arm's length, narrating. On the weekend he zoomed in on Kayla, 14, who was umpiring, over a contact call in the second quarter. "Our girl was obstructed. Clearly. That's going to the tribunal with timestamps. I've written down the wind direction as well."

Denise Woodhouse, who manages the team, said the mums had a gutsful by June. "He filmed me eating a pie. Reckons it's context. I told him to fuck off, politely, and he filmed that too. Said it'd be exhibit D." Hadfield has since started filming cars in the carpark. He calls this "establishing the scene". My late husband Gerald took one photograph a year, at Christmas. It was blurry and it was plenty. My son's girlfriend films her breakfast, so apparently this is normal now. It is not.

A spokesperson for Netball Southland said the closest thing to a tribunal was "honestly, Denise", and that complaints went to an email address. "He has sent it 214 videos since April. About half are of his thumb. One is nine minutes of a court with nobody on it. He's called it 'the aftermath'." Kayla, asked to comment, said Hadfield was "quite loud". She added: "It's minus two and he makes me stand here explaining the rules to him."

Hadfield has bought a tripod and told the club "the tribunal sits in September". Nobody has corrected him. He has also started complaining about the cold, which several people in Gladstone say he hasn't lived here long enough to do.

More yarns from Gladstone Sports Sideline

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Reader Letters

Wayne_87

He sounds like a right bloody nutcase with too much time on his hands. Who films an umpire for a tribunal that doesn't exist?

footyfanatic93

Mate, this is peak nonsense. Give the poor teen umpire a break, Clint! It's just netball.

JoannePetone

Honestly, Clint needs a hobby. Maybe join the local bowling club instead of harassing teenagers.

ConcernedKiwi

There's something wrong with people who feel the need to film every moment. It's disgusting behaviour, especially towards a 14-year-old.

BarryBishopdale

Bloody cyclists would have a tribunal for this sort of nonsense. Back in my day, people dealt with things directly instead.

localsceptic

@BarryBishopdale Australians might run the tribunal for him. Next, they'll own the courts!

Margaret_F

It's shameful how people are these days, constantly with their phones out capturing everything. Just put the phone down and enjoy the game!

couchgremlin

Lol.

Garry (Halswell)

Garry (Halswell): Clint Hadfield has clearly lost the plot. This nonsense wouldn't have happened in my day when people respected umpires. Such antics are unacceptable.

DOG HOLDS FEILDING CRICKET MATCH TO RANSOM, DECLINES TO NAME PRICE

Sports Sideline Feilding Read it →

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one in your inbox every morning at 6am.

Satire — everything here is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.