GLADSTONE CROSSING LADY RUNS PICKUP LANE LIKE A CORRECTIONS OFFICER, PARENTS QUIETLY THRILLED
Mrs Lorraine Beattie has been on the lollipop for six weeks. Idling times are down 40 percent. Nobody's laminated a complaint yet.
Gladstone
Every yarn The Daily Yarn has filed from Gladstone — 9 yarns of invented local news, newest first. None of it happened.
GLADSTONE LABRADOR ATTENDS MORE COMMITTEE MEETINGS THAN HIS OWNER, NOW ON THREE SUB-COMMITTEES
Murray the dog has a better attendance record than half the council. His owner hasn't shown since June.
INVERCARGILL MITRE 10 RETURNS DESK ACCEPTS BARBECUE STILL ACTIVELY ON FIRE
Customer cited 'change of heart'. Staff cited the smoke alarm.
GLADSTONE UMBRELLA LASTS SEVEN SECONDS, OWNER BLAMES CLIMATE CHANGE AND ALSO HIS WIFE
The umbrella was new. It is now a sculpture.
INVERCARGILL COUNCIL INVOICES GLADSTONE WOMAN $847 FOR STORMWATER PIPE THAT DOES NOT EXIST
Council insists the pipe is there. The ground disagrees.
GLADSTONE SCHOOL NEWSLETTER PROMISES "SAUSAGE SIZZLE" — PARENTS NOT SURE WHAT THE QUOTE MARKS MEAN
Some reckon it's a typo. Others reckon the PTA knows something.
GLADSTONE LEMON TREE NOW SUBJECT OF THREE SURVEYORS, TWO LAWYERS, AND A LAMINATED SIGN
The tree has produced 14 lemons this season. The dispute has produced 47 emails.
GLADSTONE CEILING CAVITY YIELDS 47 VB CANS AND ZERO INSULATION
The previous owner's R-value was, technically, beer.
GLADSTONE UNDER-11 SIDELINE NEARLY GOES FERAL OVER MANDARIN SUBSTITUTION AT HALF-TIME
Club treasurer cited budget. Sideline cited treason. Constabulary cited Section 4.