CLIVE FENCE PAINTED WRONG SHADE OF CREAM PROMPTS FORMAL MEDIATION AT COMMUNITY HALL
Complainant reckons it's custard. Respondent reckons it's bone. Mediator brought biscuits.
A dispute over a shared boundary fence in Clive has escalated to formal mediation, with both parties refusing to back down on what one neighbour described as 'basically off-white, mate'.
Complainant Neville Askew, 71, alleges the fence was repainted by his neighbour without proper consultation. He describes the colour as 'custard' and says it clashes with his hydrangeas. Respondent Yvonne Beattie, 68, maintains the colour is Resene Bone Rest and that Neville is 'being a knob about it'.
This reporter attended in an observational capacity, having been tipped off by a mate at the station who lives two doors down. The mediator, a volunteer from Hastings, opened proceedings by asking both parties to bring paint swatches. Neville brought seven. Yvonne brought the tin.
Proceedings deteriorated when Neville produced a printed email chain dating back to March, which he called 'the paper trail'. Yvonne called it 'a piss-take, honestly'. A third neighbour arrived uninvited with scones and was asked to leave after suggesting they 'just paint it green'.
A second session has been booked for Thursday. The fence remains custard. Or bone. Depending who you ask.
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Reader Letters
couchgremlin
Honestly, who cares about fence colours?
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, neighbours had a chat over a cuppa without dragging mediators into it. This is such a piss-take!
Helen_from_Hastings
Garry, times have changed. Now we need a mediator just to have a yarn without ending in a fistfight.
lynne_paints
Mate, Resene Bone Rest is definitely more brown than custard. Neville needs to get his eyes checked!
Sandra_the_Gardener
Neville's hydrangeas are more important than you'd think! The wrong shade can ruin years of gardening work. Trust me, I'm in a gardening club.
Trev_Hornby
Imagine if they used all that energy to fix the rooted footpaths in Clive. Priorities, people!
ropeable_dave
Fence paint disputes are a serious business in NZ. Next time they'll argue over the kerb colour!
tired_in_riccarton
Bloody fence paint! Just paint it green like Kiwis used to. Problem solved. What's next, arguments over letterbox placement?
wayne1987
Maybe they could use this fuss to start a new reality show: when custard turns to bone. I'd watch it.
Tony_Toolshed
Sandra, no one cares about Neville's bloody hydrangeas. Getting a paint tin instead of swatches was classic Yvonne.