Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Suburban Crime

FRANKTON CAT NAMED 'PERSON OF INTEREST' ON NEIGHBOURLY POLL ABOUT BINS

Mr Whiskerton has declined to comment. His owner was asleep at the time of the alleged offending.

A Frankton cat has been listed as a 'person of interest' on a Neighbourly poll about who keeps tipping the recycling bins on Kent Street, despite being a cat.

The poll, launched Sunday night by resident Yvonne Carruthers, offered four suspects: 'the teenagers from number 42', 'that ute that revs', 'wind (unlikely)', and 'Mr Whiskerton'. Mr Whiskerton is leading with 47 percent of the vote.

This reporter attended the scene and confirms the bins were over. No CCTV was available. One commenter has called this 'a cover-up by the HCC'. It is not.

A witness, Deidre Halloran from next door, told The Daily Yarn she saw 'a ginger shape' near the bins on Saturday. Mr Whiskerton is a tabby. The owner, Ngaire Fowler, said the accusation was 'typical of this street' and that Mr Whiskerton had been indoors, 'asleep on the good throw'. Ms Fowler noted several of the accusers had nose rings.

No formal complaint has been received by NZ Police regarding the bins, the cat, or the poll. My mate at Frankton station described the matter as 'not police business, Dave, please stop emailing about it'.

The poll closes Friday. Mr Whiskerton was unavailable through the cat door.

More yarns from Frankton Suburban Crime

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Reader Letters

Margaret_F

Back in our day, cats knew their place outside, not causing chaos with bins. I don't believe Mr Whiskerton could be responsible. In fact, Gerald would laugh at the idea of a feline suspect. The youth today can’t even own up to their actions. It’s all a bit ridiculous, if you ask me.

JoannePetone

Honestly, why are we blaming animals for human mess? These teenagers need a talking to, not scapegoating a cat.

Garry (Halswell)

Joanne, the real issue here is everyone is quick to blame anything but the real suspects, the teenagers.

Trev_Hornby

It's bloody typical. No one wants to admit fault, so they blame a cat. Wait till the council gets involved, then it’ll really be rooted.

Trev_Hornby

I reckon it's all a buggered road layout causing the wind to knock bins. Why blame a cat when the kerbs are rooted?

couchgremlin

Lol.

dogdad54

Mate, Mr Whiskerton is just being a typical cat. My dog tips bins too. It’s not newsworthy.

Margaret_F

@Garry (Halswell) Exactly! It's always the young ones' fault. Back in my day, we'd sort this swiftly.

GREYTOWN CAT CAUGHT OPENING NEIGHBOUR'S GARAGE DOOR ON CAMERA — INSTALLER SAYS DOOR IS "WORKING PERFECTLY"

Suburban Crime Greytown Read it →

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one in your inbox every morning at 6am.

Satire — everything here is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.