HAWTHORNDALE LETTER-WRITER ESCALATES DOG POO CAMPAIGN TO LAMINATED A4

An unidentified Hawthorndale resident has been leaving increasingly formal notes on letterboxes along Herbert Street regarding what they describe as an "ongoing faecal situation", with the latest correspondence laminated and cable-tied to a power pole.

The notes, which began in late August as a polite request, have progressed through underlined warnings, a hand-drawn map marking alleged deposit sites, and most recently a printed A4 headed FINAL NOTICE featuring three exclamation marks and one misused semicolon.

Resident Lorraine Beattie, 71, said she'd received four notes despite not owning a dog. "Told the postie. Told the neighbour. Told my sister in Gore. Nobody's owning up, and I'm the one getting the bloody letters."

A second resident, Murray Cleghorn, said he'd spotted a figure in a hi-vis vest attaching a note to his gatepost at approximately 6.40am Tuesday. "Couldn't see the face. Could see the clipboard. Whoever it is has committed to the bit."

This correspondent contacted a colleague at the station, who confirmed no formal complaint had been lodged, as the matter did not meet the threshold under the Summary Offences Act 1981. He added, off the record, that the laminating alone suggested "a person with time on their hands and a Warehouse Stationery loyalty card".

The notes are continuing. The dog, if it exists, has not been identified. A neighbourhood Facebook post asking for calm has attracted forty-two comments and one further note, taped to the screen of the person who posted it.