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Suburban Crime

TAMAHERE WHEELIE BIN LID LEFT OPEN — STREET GROUP CHAT NOW 340 MESSAGES DEEP

One flap of plastic. Three days of accusations. A retired accountant has printed diagrams.

A wheelie bin on Devine Road, Tamahere, was left with its lid open on Tuesday night. The street group chat has since passed 340 messages, two threats of trespass notices, and one printed diagram of correct lid alignment.

The bin belongs to Kereama Whitiora, a sparky who'd knocked off late and rolled it out on the way to bed. He told The Daily Yarn he didn't know there was a problem until 6.14am, when a note appeared under his wiper. "Reckoned someone had backed into the ute. Nah. Bit of A4 about the bin lid. Typed. In a font."

The note's author, retired accountant Malcolm Fenwick-Petrie, said the open lid was "an invitation to vermin" and a sign the street was slipping. Malcolm has lived on Devine Road since 2004 and maintains a spreadsheet. He would not confirm what's in the spreadsheet, but did confirm it exists.

By Wednesday lunchtime three neighbours had piled in — two against Kereama, one who'd been waiting years for a crack at Malcolm. "Malcolm measured my hedge with a laser last winter," said Donna from number 41. "The man's a knob. Leave the bloke's bin alone."

Waikato District Council, contacted for comment, said lid position was "not currently a regulated matter" but that they were "aware of community concerns". Which brings us to the following.


STATEMENT FROM COUNCIL

Waikato District Council is aware of community concerns regarding waste receptacle presentation on Devine Road, Tamahere. A number of communications have been received from residents in relation to this matter, and the strength of feeling is appreciated.

At this stage, wheelie-bin lid orientation does not fall within the scope of the Solid Waste Bylaw 2018, and no enforcement action is being contemplated. Residents are reminded that disputes of this nature are best resolved through direct dialogue between the parties involved.

It is acknowledged that expectations around amenity can vary between households. Residents are encouraged to consider their neighbours when presenting bins for collection. A review of guidance material may be undertaken at a future point, subject to resourcing and prioritisation against other work programmes.

Residents are thanked for their patience and for bringing this matter to Council's attention.

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Reader Letters

HamiltonHank

Bloody ridiculous!

Trev_Hornby

Malcolm needs a hobby. Measuring hedges with lasers? What's next, fence paint monitoring? Got to love the drama in Tamahere, though. These struggles are real!

Garry (Halswell)

Next thing you know, we'll have the lawn police out measuring the grass height along Devine Road. Is hope lost, or is it just too much free time in Tamahere?

sportsdad765

Mate, kerb your expectations! It's just a bin lid.

Wayne_Waikato

This is what happens when people don't have enough to fill their day. Back in my day, we had real issues to deal with, like whether the milk was delivered properly or rain washed out the rugby game. Not everything needs a council regulation!

KiwiK8

Honestly, people need to chill out. One open bin lid and suddenly it's like the whole street's infested with rats! I reckon Kereama should just ignore them.

local_legend_luke

Mate, Kereama's not the problem. It's the overzealous neighbour. Malcolm sounds rooted in his own spreadsheets!

Botanist_Bex

Wheelie bins and spreadsheets in the same sentence... What a world we live in! Next he'll be tracking sunlight on orchids or some such nonsense.

couchgremlin

Does anyone even ask the bins how they feel? Bet they've got stories to tell too. 😅

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