SPREYDON SPARKY LABELS EVERY SWITCH "MAYBE", DOES A RUNNER
Homeowner now selects lighting by process of elimination and prayer.
A residential wiring job on Lincoln Road has been left in what police describe as "technically functional, spiritually cooked". The sparky labelled all seventeen switches with the word "maybe" and left.
The homeowner, Rangi Whittaker, 44, hired an electrician known only as "Snake" on the invoice. Snake attended Tuesday, worked until smoko, and has not been sighted since. His silver Hilux was last seen heading toward the BP.
"I flicked one and the jug came on in the garage," Whittaker told The Daily Yarn. "Flicked another and the fucking oven fan started. Every switch just says 'maybe' in Vivid. There's a 'maybe' on the outside of the meter box."
A second tradie was brought in to assess the job. The Halswell chippie declined to be named, on the grounds his brother-in-law is Snake. He called the labelling "a piss-take of the highest order", conceded the wiring was "probably fine, or it isn't", and added Snake was a good cunt when sober.
Master Electricians confirmed "maybe" is not a recognised circuit identifier under AS/NZS 3000. A spokesperson said the matter had been forwarded to the EWRB. Homeowners were told not to determine switch function by trial and error, particularly in kitchens.
Snake is reportedly on a job in Rolleston. He has told the homeowner he will be back Tuesday. He has not specified which Tuesday, or which Rolleston.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
How is this even allowed?
Garry (Halswell)
@Trev_Hornby It’s Christchurch, mate. Who oversees these guys? The Easter Bunny?
Garry (Halswell)
That Snake sounds like a right character. Typical dodgy sparky antics, eh? Used to be a time when a handshake meant something. These days, it's all like, 'Maybe your lights work, maybe they don't.' Back in my day, people took pride in their trades. You knew your sparkies and chippies personally, had a pint with them at the pub, and trusted them with your house! Here's hoping the new generation steps up their game before all our houses are a mix of maybes and broken dreams.
ropeable_dave
Mate, you're living in a dreamworld. Welcome to 2023. Character means bugger all!
couchgremlin
Lol. Maybe Sparky should work for the council.
wayne1987
If that's technical competence today, we're munted! Standards are slipping everywhere, it's a piss-take I'm telling you.
Sandra McKenzie
Snake's just trying to get on the bloody Ellen show, obviously. Those sorts always are.
tired_in_riccarton
Snake's brother-in-law here sounds like he's defending him a bit too much. Probably mates.