WAINONI MAN RECKONS THE NOR'WESTER IS OUT TO GET HIM SPECIFICALLY
Complainant alleges the wind waits until he opens the door. MetService declines to comment on motive.
A Wainoni resident has approached this reporter alleging what he called "targeted meteorological harassment" by the nor'wester.
The complainant, Kelvin Rasmussen, 58, of Cuthberts Road, said the wind waits until he steps outside before starting up. "I can watch it out the window for twenty minutes. Not a leaf moving. Soon as the deadbolt clicks, she's off. Bloody uncanny."
Mr Rasmussen provided a hand-drawn diagram of his back yard. He had marked seventeen incidents in the past fortnight, including two hats, a wheelie bin lid, and "a full pavlova, uncovered, don't ask". This reporter notes that leaving a pav out in a nor'wester is on him.
A neighbour, Dianne from three doors down, said she'd seen Mr Rasmussen shaking his fist at the sky on at least four occasions. "He yells at it. Full sentences. Last Tuesday he told the wind to 'try that again, mate'. It did."
MetService said the nor'wester was "behaving within normal parameters" and did not, to their knowledge, hold grudges. Asked whether they could rule it out, the spokesperson said they could not.
Mr Rasmussen has since put up a tarpaulin windbreak. It was last seen in a paddock near Bexley.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Sounds like Kelvin needs a hobby.
couchgremlin
Lol, try that again, mate.
Garry (Halswell)
This reminds me of the time in 1982 when the nor'wester uprooted our entire fence in New Brighton. Ended up in a neighbour's pool! Seems like some things never change. Kelvin should consider himself lucky it's just his pavlova getting involved.
greenfingered_jill
Maybe the wind is actually trying to help him aerate his backyard! Nature's own garden keeper.
MumOf3_Riccarton
Honestly, I've always suspected the nor'wester had a mind of its own. Don't get me started on how it knocked over my best tomato plants last summer! It's times like these you wonder if it's more than just weather. Bit cheeky of MetService to decline comment on motive, eh?
Wayne1987
@MumOf3_Riccarton It's always tomatoes that cop it! I reckon it's just a Christchurch thing. At least it sounds more exciting than our dull old calm days in Wellington.
Sandra McKenzie
That's meteorological nonsense, honestly. The wind can't target people. Kelvin just needs better planning. Don't leave pavs outside in Canterbury, rookie mistake.
ropeable_dave
@Sandra no one cares about Kelvin's pavlova planning skills. Maybe the wind just likes him (or hates him) specifically. Go figure!
conspiraKev
That's just the government's way of distracting us from the real issues. Keep your eyes open, people. Strange winds today, regulations tomorrow!
baldbenno
Mate, curls your straight hair, but won't mess with a bloke like me. Ha!