PONSONBY BATHROOM RENO ENTERS YEAR THREE, BUILDER SAYS IT'S 'DONE TUESDAY'
The homeowner has showered at the gym 437 times. The builder has not picked up a phone since the Coronation.
Ponsonby
Every yarn The Daily Yarn has filed from Ponsonby — 7 yarns of invented local news, newest first. None of it happened.
PONSONBY UNDER-10s RUGBY DESCENDS INTO ORANGE-RELATED SHOUTING MATCH BETWEEN GROWN ADULTS
Two mothers, one chilly bin, no oranges. The children watched.
PONSONBY PENSIONER ACCUSED OF SHOPLIFTING BY MACHINE THAT CAN'T TELL A CARROT FROM A PARSNIP
The Woolworths self-checkout flagged 82-year-old Eileen Brockett for 'suspicious bagging activity'. She had two onions and a Listener.
PONSONBY CAT WINS FACEBOOK MAYORAL POLL, IMMEDIATELY GOES TO SLEEP ON A FERN
Tortoiseshell named Brenda secures 847 votes; runner-up was 'the bloke who yells at the pigeons'.
PONSONBY IN MELTDOWN AS HUMIDITY REACHES 78% — RESIDENTS DEMAND ANSWERS
Linen shirts limp. Sourdough won't rise. One woman blames the council.
PONSONBY MAN BILLED $400 FOR 'STRATEGIC VIBES' BY AUCKLAND COUNCIL
Ratepayer asked what a vibe costs per hour. Council declined to specify.
PONSONBY PTA SPLIT DOWN MIDDLE OVER SAUSAGE SIZZLE ONION PLACEMENT
Two-hour meeting. No vote reached. The barbecue is on Saturday.