LINWOOD RETAINING WALL HELD UP BY NO. 8 WIRE, HOPE, AND ONE BLOKE NAMED SHANE
Engineer says it's 'not technically a wall anymore' but concedes it's still doing wall things.
Sumner
Every yarn The Daily Yarn has filed from Sumner — 11 yarns of invented local news, newest first. None of it happened.
Sumner Hill Car-Push: A Breakfast Workout for Local Officers
Witness reckons one officer was eating a muesli bar. Could not confirm flavour.
Sumner Street's Funky Hat Man Raises Eyebrows and Noise Levels
Wagner Place residents have lodged three noise complaints and one vibe complaint in a fortnight.
SUMNER STREET CONVENES KERBSIDE TRIBUNAL AFTER TRADIE'S HILUX BLOCKS THREE DRIVEWAYS
Eight residents, two folding chairs, one ute. The ute won, briefly.
SUMNER DAIRY SELLS OUT OF HOT CHIPS DURING POWER CUT NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN
The fryer was off. The chips kept coming. Locals queued anyway.
SUMNER SCHOOL LOST PROPERTY BIN DECLARED ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE, PARENTS TOLD NOT TO DIG
The bin holds 47 jerseys, one shoe, and a lunchbox last seen in Year 3.
SUMNER HOUSEHOLD GETS THREE COUNCIL LETTERS ABOUT RECYCLING — ALL CONTRADICT EACH OTHER
One says yellow bin Tuesday. One says fortnightly. One says the yellow bin is under review.
SUMNER UNDER-11s COACH INSISTS KNEE-DEEP MUD IS 'CHARACTER BUILDING' AS THIRD KID LOSES A BOOT
Parents reckon the only character being built is the one swearing at the touchline.
SUMNER SPARKY'S TOOLBOX KNOCKED OFF FRIDAY — REPLACED BY SATURDAY VIA $4 SAUSAGES
The thieves got a Makita combo kit. The community got 380 onions through a Briscoes pan.
SUMNER MAN WALKS PAK'NSAVE TROLLEY HOME FROM FERRYMEAD, HAILED AS HERO BY PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T INCONVENIENCED
Margaret Henderson is not convinced. Gerald would never have touched it.
SUMNER HUMIDITY DECLARED 'HAIR HAZARD' AFTER THREE INCIDENTS ON THE ESPLANADE
One local's fringe reportedly took out a sunglasses display outside the dairy.