HAMILTON EAST WHEELIE BIN LEFT OPEN OVERNIGHT, COOK STREET LOSES IT
Three notes, one text chain, and an email to council. All because Mrs Patterson's lid was up six inches.
Hamilton East
Every yarn The Daily Yarn has filed from Hamilton East — 8 yarns of invented local news, newest first. None of it happened.
HAMILTON EAST PICNIC RELOCATED TO LOUNGE, THERMOSES NOW SEATED BY ALLEGIANCE
What began as a riverside gathering has become a silent standoff over who brought the better flask.
HAMILTON EAST NOTICEBOARD LEAF-BLOWER FEUD ENTERS WEEK SIX, PARTIES NOW WRITING IN BOLD
What began as a polite A4 request has escalated to laminated rebuttals and at least one diagram.
HAMILTON KMART LAUNCHES 'TREASURE HUNT' THAT IS JUST STAFF ADMITTING THEY'VE LOST THE STOCK
Find an air fryer, win an air fryer. If you can find one. Which you can't.
HAMILTON EAST UNDER-12 RUGBY GAME HALTED THREE TIMES — PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL
The cow had no comment. The jandal's owner is still at large.
HAMILTON EAST NETBALL MUM CALLS MEETING TO DISCUSS WHEN TO HOLD THE NEXT MEETING
Calendar invite went out at 6.04am. The agenda is the agenda.
HAMILTON EAST CLIENT DEMANDS KITCHEN 'LIKE ON TELLY' BUT BEIGER, CHIPPIE QUOTES $94K AND A LIE DOWN
She's been to Mitre 10 four times this week. The chippie has been to the pub three.
HAMILTON COUNCIL CALLS MEETING TO DISCUSS WHEN TO HOLD MEETINGS
Pre-meeting meeting scheduled for Thursday. Or the Thursday after. A working group will confirm.