MT EDEN WOMAN HOLDS UP NEW WORLD QUEUE FOR 22 MINUTES OVER MISSING BROCCOLI POINTS
Clubcard says 40. Receipt says 10. Nobody is leaving until this is resolved.
Mt Eden
Every yarn The Daily Yarn has filed from Mt Eden — 8 yarns of invented local news, newest first. None of it happened.
MT EDEN PRIMARY FUNDRAISER MOVES 400 ROLLS OF WRAPPING PAPER NOBODY ASKED FOR
The PTA calls it a record year. The garages of Mt Eden tell a different story.
TAKAPUNA BEACH DAY ENDS IN HORIZONTAL RAIN AFTER 11 MINUTES OF SUNSHINE
The sausages were still cold. The towels are now in the harbour.
MT EDEN BUILDER NAMES EVERY NAIL ON SITE, REFUSES TO HAMMER UNTIL GREETED PROPERLY
Job is eleven weeks behind. The foreman's calling in sick. The nails have surnames.
MT EDEN PARKING WARDEN TICKETS MOBILITY SCOOTER OUTSIDE DAIRY — INSISTS IT WAS "AT AN ANGLE"
The scooter's owner, 81, was inside buying a Trumpet. The fine is $40.
MT EDEN UNDER-11 CRICKET PAUSED 40 MINUTES AFTER DOG NAMED BISCUIT NICKS THE BALL
Biscuit took the ball to a Hilux. The opening bowler took a seat on the wicket.
MT EDEN COUNCIL CONFIRMS ROAD CONES NOW OUTNUMBER RESIDENTS, CALLS IT 'PROGRESS'
Auckland Transport reckons the 2:1 ratio is 'within tolerance'. Tolerance for what, they wouldn't say.
MT EDEN GNOME MISSING SINCE TUESDAY — NEIGHBOURLY THREAD NOW 84 COMMENTS AND ZERO LEADS
Police have not ruled out that the gnome walked off. At this stage they've ruled out nothing.