HORNBY WOMAN'S AUCKLAND BEACH DAY RUINED BY WEATHER THAT WAS FINE FIVE MINUTES AGO... TYPICAL
Flew all the way up there for a swim and copped a southerly by lunchtime.
Constable Dave Pearce
Dave treats every stolen garden gnome like an Interpol case.
CASEBROOK NETBALL MUM EJECTED FOR COACHING THE REF FROM THE SIDELINE
Under-11 fixture paused eleven minutes after mother refused to leave without a written apology.
FEILDING NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH LAUNCHES FORMAL INQUIRY INTO WHEELIE BIN ALIGNMENT
Three bins. One kerb. One retired man with a clipboard.
LINWOOD FENCE PAINT DISPUTE ESCALATES TO COMMUNITY HALL MEDIATION, THREE SAUSAGE ROLLS EATEN IN ANGER
Resene Half Tea vs Resene Quarter Tea. Neither party willing to concede the shade.
ENDERLEY LIBRARY MEETING ON OVERDUE FINES DESCENDS INTO 40-MINUTE ARGUMENT ABOUT DIGNITY
A community consultation about $2.40 turned into a philosophical inquiry no-one asked for.
CHRISTCHURCH COACH TELLS FLAXMERE UNDER-12s MUD-PIT IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" — PARENTS DISAGREE
Coach reckons the ankle-deep sludge is a life lesson. One dad reckons it's a war crime.
JUDEA MAN'S DAILY WALK NOW HAS A SHRINE, HE'S NOT KEEN
It was a Tuesday morning in Judea. The suspect laced up his shoes. He did not know about the candles.
Te Aro Flat's Ancient Meters Still Ticking, Landlord Unfazed
Ferranti-brand units from Hollinwood, England, have been ticking over in a Cuba Street cupboard since before decimal currency.
MOSGIEL PERGOLA PASSES COUNCIL INSPECTION, FAILS GRAVITY BY LUNCHTIME
Consent stamped Tuesday. Structure horizontal Wednesday. Owner blames the nor'wester. Physics blames the builder.
OMOKOROA MAN INSTALLS FOUR-CAMERA CCTV RIG TO MONITOR LETTERBOX, NOTHING ELSE
The letterbox has received two flyers and a rates notice since August.
GERALDINE MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES — TRADIES STARING INTO THE MIDDLE DISTANCE
The cable-tie aisle has been described as 'a crime scene, basically'.
CLIVE FENCE PAINTED WRONG SHADE OF CREAM PROMPTS FORMAL MEDIATION AT COMMUNITY HALL
Complainant reckons it's custard. Respondent reckons it's bone. Mediator brought biscuits.
INGLEWOOD SCARECROW TAKES OUT BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT OCCUR
The scarecrow, known locally as Trevor, was unavailable for comment on account of being made of hay.
BISHOPDALE RATEPAYERS FUND $84,000 REPORT CONCLUDING REPORTS ARE UNDERFUNDED
The report recommends a further report. Christchurch City Council says this is a positive finding.
ROYAL COMMISSION OF INQUIRY: THE ONEHUNGA GIFT CARD INCIDENT OF 2024
After 14 months, 47 witnesses, and one unredeemed $50 Prezzy Card, the Commission has reached its findings.
WAINONI MAN RECKONS THE NOR'WESTER IS OUT TO GET HIM SPECIFICALLY
Complainant alleges the wind waits until he opens the door. MetService declines to comment on motive.
KENSINGTON NOTICEBOARD LEAF BLOWER FEUD HITS WEEK SIX, NEIGHBOURS NOW ONLY TALKING VIA A3
What started as a note about morning noise is now, in this reporter's view, a matter for the Ombudsman.
MASTERTON DISTRICT COUNCIL TO DEBATE WHETHER HOT CROSS BUNS REQUIRE RESOURCE CONSENT
One councillor reckons the cross on top might be unpermitted signage.
CLIVE INFLUENCER APOLOGISES FOR CHIP-RELATED SEAGULL INCIDENT IN 14-MINUTE VIDEO NO ONE ASKED FOR
Constable Pearce watched the whole thing. He has notes.
ISLAND BAY MAN INSTALLS FOUR CCTV CAMERAS TRAINED SOLELY ON HIS LETTERBOX
Front door, driveway, and shed remain, in his words, 'not the point'.